Considering Cosmetology School

The law school is selling T-shirts commemorating Law Week, which is a week-long string of open bar events that the law school has once a year. Here's the text from the back of the shirts:

Law Week T-shirt: Top 10 University of Alabama School of Law Professors' Words of Wisdom:

1. "I predict universal failure." -- Judge Colquitt
2. "This is law school...and we want you to be happy." -- Prof. Marshall
3. "You don't want to be the turd in the punch bowl." -- Anonymous
4. "It's not too late to drop out of law school and go to cosmetology school." -- Judge Harwood
5. "Guns and ammo only belong at weddings." -- Prof. Durham
6. "There is such a thing as a stupid question. Don't ask one." -- Prof. Andrews
7. "Clicking the button in rapid succession helps sometimes." -- Prof. Marshall
8. "Hard cheese." -- Prof. Marsh
9. "Medicinal marijuana makes Scalia sad." -- Kroto
10. "I am the love doctor. It's what I do." -- Prof. Fair