Fireworks

My brother's name was Jay. He died last week, April 1, 2011, far too young. He was 24 years old. 

My brother and I have not always been on good terms. Though we were very close as children, in the past few years we’ve had some knock-down, drag-out, hit-below-the-belt fights, mostly over things that don’t seem so important now.

I moved back to Charleston, SC in August of 2010, shortly after graduating from law school in Tuscaloosa, AL. At that point, Jay and I didn’t have much of a relationship. While I was falling back in love with Charleston, Jay was stumbling into bad situations. In January of 2011 he realized he needed a new start in a new town, so he asked me if he could move to Charleston. Because of our troubled past, because I didn't trust him based on his past behavior, and because I felt protective of my life in Charleston, I almost said no.

At my best moments, when I'm thinking clearly and long-term and am able to separate anger from fact, I have a life philosophy that goes something like this:

When I’m old and frail and I look back on the many times when I made the wrong decision – and everyone is wrong once in a while – I hope my wrong choices will have been wrong on the side of being too loving, too open-minded, too gracious, too kind, too trusting, too generous, or too forgiving. Since we're all human and we all fail in ways big and small every single day, being right all the time isn't the alternative. The alternative is having erred on the side of hate, bigotry, mercilessness, selfishness, pessimism, and greed. That's not the life I want to live.

With that in mind, how could I refuse to help give my brother a new start, no matter what had happened in the past?

True to form, Jay made friends in Charleston faster than anyone I’ve ever met. Within a week, I had to call Jay to find out what my own friends were up to.

Jay & Cinnamon, clearly in love.

Jay convinced a waitress at Waffle House named Cinnamon that he was going to ask for her hand in marriage. Jay, my roommate Chandler and I took walks to the battery, through the beautiful wealthy neighborhoods in downtown Charleston, and made a game of guessing how much each mansion cost.

My neighbor, who we nicknamed “Cousin Curtis,” is an eccentric old man with several dozen birdhouses strung from the tree in his front yard. Jay and I spent hours making up a fictitious background story for Cousin Curtis. In our lively imaginations, Cousin Curtis' alarmed storage shed in his back yard was obviously a meth lab... But only until we saw The Onion's "Justice Shed" report. From then on, Cousin Curtis was a patriot hero; he'd obviously built his own Justice Shed.

Jay started a running joke. When we were out in a group, he'd get everyone’s attention and say “Hey guys, remember that time when I…” and fill in the rest with something endearingly ridiculous. “Hey guys, remember that time when I invented windshield wipers?” “Hey guys, see that huge fish mounted on the wall? Remember that time when I killed it with my bare hands?” Once during March Madness he announced "You guys, remember when I invented basketball? I had NO IDEA it'd get this big!"

Tara Reid (titled"Dirty Martini," by Peter O'Neill)

In one of our favorite restaurants in Charleston there’s a painting by an artist named Peter O'Neill. It shows a nondescript blonde woman in a black evening gown looking over her shoulder. Jay decided she looked like his crush, the celebrity Tara Reid, and had us laughing for 10 minutes when he declared “Hey guys, you’ll never believe what I had to do to get Tara Reid to pose for that painting.”

Although Jay’s life didn't play out like we all wished it had, I’ll always be tremendously grateful for the two months that he lived with me in lovely, familiar, healing Charleston. I had some strangely merry, revealing, restorative times with Jay, my brother who I'd grown up with; the only brother I had, who I fought with and fought for with equal ferocity. Until he moved to Charleston, I hadn't seen my brother – with his true, untouched-by-drugs personality – in four or five years.

For far too short a time, free from the things that dragged him down during the last years of his life, I got my brother back.





*Added at a later date: If this had to happen – and I do not accept that it did, I do not believe it should have happened – but working with reality, knowing that it did happen, I am so, so grateful for my time with Jay in Charleston for the few months before he died.

Knowing that I truly did the right thing even when it was incredibly hard, that I did more than most reasonable people would've done, has saved me from spiraling into a depression I'd never survive.

Jay, in a way you saved your older sister. Just like I tried – and wish so much that I'd succeeded in – saving you.

Chatting with Dov Charney, CEO of American Apparel

Two days ago Gawker acquired an email from American Apparel referencing standards for personal appearance for its retailers, down to specifics like outlawing liquid foundation and nixing bleached eyebrows. This, combined with the past heat the company has faced over refusing to manufacture sizes that the general population wears, created a storm that would not quietly pass over. Instead, CEO Dov Charney made his private phone number available to the media and concerned customers. He was personally answering the phone all day yesterday, and spoke to me around 3:00 p.m. Central time.

Charney responded to Gawker’s leaked email in a statement on American Apparel’s website. The statement appears below.

American Apparel does not hire or retain applicants based on 'beauty.' Our main priority is finding people with a strong sense of style who can inspire customers as they make selections from our extensive line. This is an integral part of the job, and we look for people who will enjoy it as a creative outlet. It has never been the policy of American Apparel, as some blogs claim, to fire employees who are not "good looking" or any of the other accusations implied by the anonymous or unverified third party sources. The company legitimately reviews current photographs of job applicants and employees to consider their sense of style and the way in which they present themselves. Through personal interviews, we evaluate whether they possess the skills and personality required to successfully sell our products. This is a standard practice among fashion-forward retailers.

American Apparel has built itself on being open and honest, so we're happy to answer questions and personally address the concerns of anyone interested in having a dialog. You can reach our CEO directly at 213-923-7943 or at dov@americanapparel.net. And to address what has been most lost in this discussion, American Apparel is in fact continuing to hire in a major way (over 1,000 factory workers in recent weeks alone and hundreds more for retail internationally). We always accept resumes, and of course photos showing your personal style, either online or at one of our open calls worldwide.

The numbers seemed high to me considering the state of the economy. Charney differentiated between the 1,000 factory workers hired in the past 60 days and retail workers – the 1,000 workers hired in the past 60 days were on the industrial side. The company is still able to hire retail workers because of the high turnover rate that most retail outlets experience. He did not attribute any retail workers leaving their jobs to the email revealed by Gawker. American Apparel employs about 5,500 retail workers in 280 stores, half of which are in the US, and another 5,500 industrial workers worldwide. The CEO stressed that American Apparel is a growing company.

Still, advertising and answering your personal phone line for the general public is a ballsy move. Was there one final straw that made Charney propose this solution? He said he doesn’t remember exactly how it came about, but that Gawker took the controversy further than necessary. The specifics that Gawker published in its “leaked” email were untrue, according to Charney. There is no company policy forbidding liquid foundation or bleached eyebrows. If there were a policy about this type of thing at all, Charney said, he would ban perfume on the retail workers – which has nothing to do with appearance, technically. As of now, there are no such policies in place, and the company is not considering them.

Instead, Charney emphasized that the overall – sometimes indefinable aspects of -- appearance of his employees has a direct effect on his business, and American Apparel is within its rights to expect a certain dress code and professional aesthetic, just like almost every other company in operation. Appearance plays a role, and people want to pretend it's all about physicality because that makes a more inflammatory story, but in this case, it's not.

When I asked if the company was worried about lawsuits from fired employees or those who were never hired because of their appearances, he balked. Employment lawsuits only succeed when a protected class – gender, race, religion – has been discriminated against. Charney’s correct on that point of law, and the Abercrombie & Fitch situation from a few years back is a salient, but ultimately off-base, comparison. A&F hired models to work in the front and put others in the back, constructively discriminating against racial minorities. AA’s situation is nothing like that.

But what about ageism? Would a perfectly good employee be fired after years of service when their appearance could no longer keep up with American Apparel’s youthful image? Charney dodged that question, partially because the company itself is young and the issue hasn’t come up yet. It might be an issue AA should address in the future, however.

It takes a lot of confidence in your customers and employees to open up your personal phone line, and Charney's move was refreshing considering most CEOs are insulated from lower level controversies. I will say that after speaking with Charney, I’m satisfied that he cares about more than just the bottom line of his company. He seems to be involved at most steps, and is making the effort to calm the concerns of whoever wants to dial his line and speak with the CEO of American Apparel. Charney said he’s had the same number for 12 years and has no plans of changing it. So if you have a gripe, constructive criticism, or just want to speak to the CEO of your favorite retail outlet, he can be reached at 213-923-7934.

Evolution

I used to be a little, well, intense. Uptight. Uptense.

That’s not really a surprise coming from the girl who wrote the grammar book. I played basketball most of my life, and I had a good -- methodical, reliable -- shot. Give me a play and I could run it perfectly, brush by the screen, peel off and hit my shot. Too bad most of the game – or life – doesn’t unfold according to the play. There are more variables than can be addressed by any one play.

In the past few years, though, I've relaxed some as I learned something important. With a lot of things in life, giving up a little control can lead to a better experience. Traveling is one example: you don’t get story-worthy experiences if you stick too closely to the plan. It’s the twists in the road -- the unexpected detours, the times when the Mykonos hostel was overbooked and you ended up sleeping on the beach, or you missed your flight and went walking and met the French family next door who entertained you for hours -- that are worth writing about. The trip isn't ruined by those things.

The same principle is also true with things like dancing, or riding passenger on a motorcycle. Risk looking stupid in public; if you’ve already decided to get on, trust the driver. Lean into the curves, and you’ll have a better ride.

Platform Magazine Interview

"I judge you when you use poor grammar." Is available here.

Daring Greatly

It's time I did a post on graduation, huh?

The law school's graduation ceremony was a few weeks ago, and it ended up being a bittersweet experience. When I was writing the grammar book during 1L, the law school was kind enough to let me drop a few classes. I'm taking summer classes to make up those hours, so graduation wasn't the grand finale of my law school career. However, it was symbolic and meaningful, and a wonderful chance to celebrate with the people I care about.

Our valedictorian focused his speech on different, mostly funny, memories of our time here. He mentioned (my very favorite Talladega native) Reid Carpenter's "trick balloonist" comment from Prof. Randall's Torts class. To those who weren't there, ask me to explain it in person. It was a highlight of 1L year.

Jan Crawford, who is the chief legal correspondent for CBS News, served as our commencement speaker. She went to UA for her undergraduate degree and went on to get her JD in Chicago, and because she's basically doing my dream job it was a sort of validation of my career choices up until this point. More than that though, she was thoughtful and inspiring. She thanked the families who were at the ceremony, because without them (or all the other supportive people in our lives) there's no way all of us would have made it through law school.

Her speech focused on this quote by Teddy Roosevelt (or -- you know -- his writers. Just giving the writers some credit!):

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

[Formatting and emphasis mine.]

To me, the most poignant part of the quotation is the "daring greatly" point. I understand that writing a blog is not "daring greatly" in the same sense that fighting wars, or running with the bulls, or risking your heart on a Great Love is. But I do sincerely feel that I've taken chances, learned lessons, and even lived in a better and greater way by sharing my writing on this platform.

If you read the comments, you know I have many critics. Anyone who's worked hard on something can empathize with the vulnerable feeling that rises up every time writers let someone else read a piece of work -- by sharing it with a friend or by turning it in to a boss or by simply clicking "publish." But along with the critics are many, many loving and supportive people who have encouraged and mentored me along this process. I'm not saying goodbye to blogging, and I'm certainly not abandoning writing. I don't know what the next phase of life will hold, but I can say a couple of things.

I hope I'm good at my job. I hope I can pay my bills! I hope I live by the water. I hope the locals will tolerate my dancing. I hope I get to keep writing. I hope I'll be lucky enough to continue to know wonderful people.

I hope it requires daring greatly.

Disdain for Poor Grammar Brings UA Student Success

Lovely article by Wayne Grayson in the Tuscaloosa News.

Sharon Eliza Nichols’ quiet, polite voice doesn’t sound like it belongs to the type of person who would author a book called “I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar.”

But when Nichols begins to talk about the experience of writing a book, a more fun, even mischievous, side comes out.

Click here for the full article. It's one of my

favorites so far.

Death to Dead Law

Dead law is dead. Thank goodness. The exam was today, and I honestly feel like there was nothing else I could have done to prepare. My friend Bud and I pulled an all-nighter, which I think was his first, just to memorize as much as we could (the exam was closed-book). He also calmed me down when I was close to tears this morning because I felt so unprepared (and I've been studying this for weeks).

[SIDEBAR: I've mentioned tears several times in the last couple days. Something about exams and lack of sleep makes them happen; I'm usually not "that girl crying in the hallway."]

Do you ever get that feeling, though, that right when the proctor says "ok, pencils down and stop typing" that you missed something? I got that feeling and then remembered right away the third duty that a trustee has: loyalty, prudence, and impartiality. I couldn't remember impartiality! I remembered that it started with an "i" and was a fairly long word, but I couldn't deduce impartiality from that. Ugh. Hopefully that won't count too much against me.

The rest of the test was fairly straight forward, but it does no good to analyze my performance at this point. It's done; I can't change anything, and I'm stuck with whatever grade I got.

Tide Fans

My friend Barron at The New Republic pulled up this article by Howell Raines for me, about legendary Coach Bear Bryant (which goes nicely with this article by Jason Zengerle, addressing racial relations at the historic university).

I bring this up because I was reminded this weekend, the weekend of the SEC Championship game in which we beat the heck out of Florida, just how far Crimson Tide fans will go for their team. I know people planning road trips to Pasadena, CA, where the National Championship will be. That's somewhere around 29 hours of driving.

In the freshman class there seems to be a rush of both girls and guys named Bryant. So the crazy fans aren't just naming their pets after the team or a coach -- they named their kids after him. My favorite is an infant in the church nursery named Crimson. Crimson, the color, like Crimson Tide.

Talk about devotion to your team.

Shout Out

This is so flattering, and I'm so thankful to Aaron Latham and Jeb Richter for doing it. The law school put a little bio on the homepage with links to my blog and the Amazon page for the book. How nice is that?

(You should be able to click on the screenshot for a bigger view, or just go to the law school's homepage if you want to see it.)

"There was no reflection on this habit, no idea that God deserved better than cliches."

Quote of the day:

Now there was no antidote to the stock phrases I had been hearing over the years that had begun to pain me whenever they were uttered. 'The Lord has really laid a burden on my heart for you. How's your walk with the Lord? She has a heart for single mothers. Let's just lift these things up to Jesus. We just pray, Lord, for your wisdom and guidance.'

It all sounded like effeminate earnestness. It was lingo. People picked up the phrases and passed them around like a contagion, which meant they were perfectly happy to use what was lying about and say what everyone else was saying. There was no reflection on this habit, no idea that God deserved better than cliches. -- Not That Kind of Girl

I like this quote because it expresses my frustration with organized, especially evangelical, religion. God deserves better than our words, and He certainly deserves better than cliches.

Deep Fried Babies

A few weeks ago a girl in the newsroom said something so funny I almost fell out of my chair laughing. We were talking about how southern people will deep fry just about anything, and she said:

My grandmama would fry a BABY if she could. She'd then proceed to CAN that baby, because she cans everything in sight -- pears, apples, babies, if that were socially acceptable.

I think that adequately illustrates the southerner's love of fried food and canning food to preserve it.

We now have a quote sheet on the wall of the newsroom to keep track of quotable moments like this one.

Alabama Election Law

My biggest exam this semester is dead law -- technically titled Decedents' Estates -- and it's about wills and trusts. The other big exam I have is in Alabama Election Law.

I know this is a long shot, but if anyone has an outline for Alabama Election Law, it would be greatly appreciated and I'd return the favor in (almost) any way I could. Email me at Senichols [at] gmail.com.

Exams and Root Canals

Has anyone had a root canal? I had to have one a few weeks ago, and while it wasn't painful during the procedure (they gave me so much Novocaine my face was numb up to my eyes), it hurt very badly afterwards. Root canals are done in two stages, so I go back for the second part tomorrow.

To anyone who's had one: What should I expect? Will it hurt as badly afterwards as it did the first time?

This came at a particularly bad time, right before exams. Ugh. At least my biggest exam is nine days away.

Fun With Word Verification

Facebook has been making me type in word verifications to send messages lately, and I'm amused by how strange the combinations are. It's always two words that don't go together at all. Some examples from today:

• Putty tale
• Together plump
• Senile tame

I'll start taking screenshots of the funnier ones. For some reason, they make me want to use them as phrases in sentences. I have dead law (wills and trusts) to study, but you guys go for it -- use them in

a sentence.

Alternatively, if you've seen any funny ones lately, leave them in the comments.

UPDATE: Facebook gave me this one today.

"The afloat."

This one doesn't even use real words! Blintzes forma? Challenge: make up a definition for "blintzes forma."

Last one: "Antidote ADA."

Posting More

I've been told I need to update more, and I'm making a commitment to do that now. So here's an update.

The semester has been really great. I went to Las Vegas to visit a friend and his family, and that was wonderful. It made me want to be part of a big Hispanic family, speak Spanish, and have cousins and uncles who are really just family friends (they call everyone "cousin" and "uncle").

Here are some pictures of a light show in old Vegas. My camera broke, so I took them with my iPhone.

We had Thanksgiving at my parents' house in Northport (about 20 minutes away), and my grandma and aunt came. It was a nice family get-together, and a great break from law school.

Today my friend Matt and I are going to church then school to start the hardcore studying. He's my accountability friend for today. You don't necessarily need to be studying the same thing to be studying "with" someone, you just need someone who'll sit with you and put pressure on you to get some real work done. He's that for me, and hopefully I'm that for him (although I don't think he really needs it -- he's more disciplined than I am).

In any event, it's church time. Have a great Sunday, everyone.

Students Sniff Something New

I'm working at The Crimson White, UA's student newspaper, and when we stay late (usually) we get loopy and funny things happened.

Last night we were trying to come up with a headline for a story about police officers staging an event where they burned something that gave off the smell of weed, so people would be aware of what it smells like (kinda redundant for college students, don't you think?).

Proposed, and rejected, headline: Students sniff something new.

SCOTUS Justice Clarence Thomas at the Law School

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas came to the law school to speak the other day. He lead two sessions: one in the morning geared towards the 1Ls, and one in the afternoon for everyone else. I couldn't make the afternoon lecture, so I sneaked into the 1L session and listened in. He mainly did questions and answers, which I thought was semi-risky for such an important public figure. I guess because he's not a politician, and because he's experienced at doing this, he has more latitude to speak off-the-cuff.

Here are some quotes I wrote down:

• CT: First year [of law school] was clear as cement!
• CT: You'd think I was in a concentration camp or something and I had to find a way to fill my time -- law school.
• CT: In the 18 years I've been there [on SCOTUS] I've yet to hear an unkind word in our conferences.

• Q: How many hours a day do you work?
• A: Less than 24 hours a day.

• CT: I don't like excerpts because people have agendas when they excerpt cases. (Kinda true, right? I've never thought about it. Our books are filled with excerpts from cases mixed with explanation from the authors, but now that I think about it, you can't really present part of a case without showing some bias. It's like piecing together quotes -- you can get them to mean whatever you want.)

• Q: What do you think the future of affirmative action is?
• A: It'll always be on shaky ground because of the 14th Amendment.

• CT: [Totally nonchalantly]: One thing lead to another, and I ended up on the Supreme Court.

Here's the question I asked: It seems like, the more I learn, the more I become aware of how much information there is out there that I don't know. That, coupled with the fact that law school has trained us how to argue both sides of cases, and it's made it harder for me to take a firm position on an issue. How do you decide when it's close, when both sides are persuasive?

• CT: You just have to vote. You have to take a position. That part doesn't get any easier for some cases. Don't think we're any different from you in that sense.

That's been my main question in law school. How do I prepare myself to argue both sides of any issue, but keep some personal positions consistent? His answer wasn't the most satisfying, but it was practical.

• Q: What do you think about the RIAA cases where damages for illegal downloads are outrageously high?
• A: Hey, it's California, it's Hollywood. Who knows!

• CT (jokingly): I'm off my medication, that's why things are so fascinating.
• CT: I don't like politics. I like law, I like rules.

• Q: What's been the biggest change in your life as a SCOTUS justice?
• A: Well, people look at you everywhere you go. You start to feel sorry for the animals at the zoo!

He raised some good points about excerpts in casebooks that I'd never thought about. I'll continue to ask my question, because it's been the central quandary of law school for me (and growing up in general). But I did like his answer -- sometimes there are no answers that are satisfying and perfect. Sometimes you just have to make it work, Tim Gunn-style.

Facebook-Friending Professors

As my friend Bud, who has a blog about FSU football with a huge following over at Tomahawk Nation, observed recently: "Blogging isn't hard, but being consistent is." Very true.

As I work on my consistency (and I welcome submissions about the law, law school, or even posts by outsiders of this little legal world: email them to Senichols (at) gmail.com), here's something funny that happened a few days ago.

We're bombarded with articles about how technology and the professional world can clash, but here's a first-hand example.

I posted on Facebook the following status: I can't help but think "gubernatorial" is a funny word.

Comment by friend "C": Is it bad that I giggled a little every time we used the word "seamen" (TO REFER TO SAILORS, YOU DIRTY READERS) the other day in class?

Comment by professor of said class, "Prof. N": Yeah, I heard the giggling.

I guess it's good to keep in mind that I'm Facebook friends with professors now.

Oh, Emails

Favorite mass email of the day, from a guy who lost the power cord to his computer:

"Bring it to me and I'll teach you ALL the Rush lyrics I know."

Tempting to you?

Autographing

Patrick Fisher is a Facebook friend who helped out a lot on the grammar book, which comes out September 29th. In return for his help, I promised a signed copy of the book. He just sent me this Facebook message as a reminder:

Hi Sharon! I see that your book is coming out in a monthish, so I am going to have to claim my just deserts. If you recall, you promised me your hand in marriage. However, we agreed that would never work due to my annularphobia (fear of rings) and your "condition". I believe we settled on an appropriate substitution of: One copy of your book, signed by you, sent to me at my location at time of publishing. My address is:

[Insert address]

For the inscription, I would diffidently accept, with no alterations:

---------------------------------------------------
Dear Patrick,

I know I told you I would marry you, but please accept this small token as a humble substitute for my eternal love. Know that I will always treasure our brief tenure as lovers.

XOXOXO
Sharon
---------------------------------------------------

Thank you in advance, it's been quite enjoyable planning this for eight months.

Patrick

This message is hilarious. I kinda love Patrick, and I'll do exactly as he asks when I get some extra copies.