Jokes Build Goodwill

Prop.Prof Krier has a peculiar way of teaching. His classes resemble math classes, with him drilling the students on the problems from the night before. It gives me panic attacks (not the drilling, the mathematical similarities), but I understand how it can be an effective teaching method.

Last week we had a particularly brutal class. It was obvious that only a few were prepared, and those who weren't prepared were drilled into the ground, head first. It looked like it hurt. The class ended on sort of a tense note, and we all just wanted to leave.

Cut to the next class. Prop.Prof comes in and apologizes. He says that he's only hard on us because he respects our ability to do the work. He mentions the fact that he's new to Alabama (he came from Michigan) and maybe we do things a bit differently here, and he'd try to conform to the level of politeness that he sees in Alabama.

Student A, who only has a reputation for being a super nice guy and very hard worker, stands up.

"I don't know what you're thinking up there, but where I come from we treat everyone right. You're talking down to us right now, and I don't want to take it anymore."

Student A shuts his book and stomps out of the room, saying "I'm not going to take it anymore." Stunned, everyone looks around for a clue about what we should do.

Prop.Prof: "Well, if anyone else feels the same way, go ahead and leave."

No one moves. Prop.Prof starts teaching again. A full two minutes of awkwardness later, Student A pops his head in the door and says "HA! It was all a joke. Prop.Prof Krier was in on it!"

My thoughts on this: It was a brilliant strategy to build goodwill for Prop.Prof after we had such a brutal previous class. If he's cool enough to play a joke on a whole class, he must be cool in other ways.

Other thoughts: After the NIU thing, there were probably better words they could have chosen than "I'm not gonna take this anymore." Also, the whole class disturbance thing could have been frightening.

Full disclosure: I wasn't there. I'm just hearing this second-hand and describing it based on my knowledge of the people involved.

In the end, nothing bad happened and goodwill for Prop.Prof Krier is restored. So, good work everybody.

Drudge Breaks Prince Harry Story

Prince Harry comes home from Afghanistan because the media publicized his location. This CNN article doesn't name the news outlet that broke the story, but Headline News is reporting on TV that it was Drudge.

Arguments in Drudge's favor:

• News is news, and it's all fair game.
• We read websites because we want to be informed as soon as possible. Drudge gets readers because of his willingness to report what others won't, so anyone who reads Drudge is sanctioning this type of disclosure.

Arguments against:

• Slippery slope: if there are no journalistic standards, the news may as well be tabloids. Don't we want our news from quality sources?
• The ultimate line in the sand: when the information could put lives in danger.
• CNN, BBC and other respected news sources had agreed on not reporting the prince's location.

These are my thoughts on it. I think there are good arguments on both sides. See if you can come up with better ones.

The Latest Food Recall

Unidentified pills were found in Gordon's fish fillets in PA.

That's a Wrap!

I just wrapped my first day blogging over at ATL. Whew. Blogging for a living is mentally tiring, but I enjoyed several things about it. I got to write about things that I find interesting, and I liked the fast pace. I get distracted easily, so it's nice to have a forum for writing short, direct posts.

The process starts with reading a vast amount of news and commentary, then filtering what news you do or don't have something funny to say about. After you figure out what you can write about, you have to filter it again for relevancy. Then you write the post. It goes like this over and over again, until the day is over.

It was brutal but exciting. David and I did a tag-team effort today, so he could show me how to use the system. Next Friday, I'm doing it all alone. Talk about pressure.

Overall, people have been pretty encouraging, and I'm ecstatic about the opportunity.

ATL Day 1

Here I am, ready for service. I start blogging at Above the Law in the next few minutes, starting with a little introduction of myself. Here are my goals for today:

• Get some notoriety for myself as a writer and for my law school as a prestigious place

• Break some interesting legal news in a fun, accurate way

• Make y'all stuffy lawyers and lawyers-in-training laugh out loud. Entertain the heck out of you, so your billing hours may be lighter for this one day. Oh well, it's a Friday anyway.

I'll try to cross-blog as much as I can, which will probably include links to ATL. Okay, let's get it started in hurrr!

Score!

As you probably know from reading this blog, one of my favorite sources of legal gossip and commentary is Above the Law.

This has been in the works for a few weeks, but now that it's official I get to announce it. I get to guest blog for ATL! Tomorrow! For real! It's a great opportunity for a little 1L like me to have, and I'm very very thankful and excited.

While I can express my wide-eyed enthusiasm on this blog, I'll have to contain it and put on my "this is no big deal" face tomorrow. Hmm.

Who would you pimp for $25 million?

I ask this because Neverland is for sale, and I wouldn't mind having some more toys. I could ignore the likelihood that the previous owner was a pedophile if it meant I could have an amusement park in my back yard. Talk about a chick magnet.

Speaking of chick (or guy) magnets, my college roommate kept assorted video games for the specific purpose of having a pretense to invite dates back to the apartment. The line "Hey, wanna come back to my place and play DDR?" had a surprisingly high success rate.

But back to my original question: who would you pimp for $25 million? $10 million? $1 million? I would pimp both my mom and Gloria's mom for $25 million. Gloria says she'd pimp her own mother for $250,000; my mom is worth at least $1 million. But you might be able to talk me into pimping my brother for $250,000.

William F. Buckley, Jr. died last night.

The founder of National Review was 82.

At least you're not this guy.

Lvl 8 Ogre Seeks Moon Queen

Why are blogs the current shiznit?

I had this conversation with a friend today. I theorized that the constant updating is satisfying, and since people like to know what's going on, they end up checking a blog that fits their niche 3 or 4 times a day. Kristian said it's all about "attainable elitism": since anybody can create a (free) blog, they often do it and write about their field. They get readers, feel important, and keep writing. Since blogs exist in a community, with symbiotic links sustaining readership numbers, bloggers read other blogs and the links keep the cycle going.

Both theories are probably true.

Prof. Horwitz is back! With jokes!

I have a hard time separating my affection for Con Law from my affection for my professor. I hope this doesn't mean I'll enter a legal field that was awesome in law school and not so awesome in real life.

Everyone who works with Con Law is awesome, right? I thought so.

Sitting Strategy

As I've written about before, there's a strategy involved in attending law school classes. If your professor happens to call on you on a day when you're unprepared, the result is an embarrassing barrage of questions like "Ms. Nichols, why aren't you prepared today? Why don't you know this material, Ms. Nichols?"

So we do what we can to avoid that. Part of my strategy is the pre-emptive strike theory, in which I raise my hand whenever I'm prepared so I won't be cold-called on a day when I'm unprepared. But there's also a way to sit that makes you less likely to be called on. Don't put your arms anywhere near your head; don't play with your earrings, don't play with your hair. Keep your eyes squarely on your laptop, and discreetly try to hide your face while effecting a facial expression like you're concentrating.

It works most of the time. If you are called on and you don't know the answer, I really don't know how to advise you. You're on your own at that point.

We're watching Legally Blonde in Evidence.

The "gay scene." (The scene about Elle Woods calling out the gay guy in court; I'm not calling the scene itself is gay. That would be a compliment in my book.)

Classic Quote

"Thank you for not impregnating her." -- My mama, to my brother, about a pregnant girl.

Stuff White People Like

My fellow law student bloggers at All Against All have discovered a wonderfully funny blog called Stuff White People Like. It's written like a textbook describing a rare critter, like a series of National Geographic articles discussing the habits of the Dodo bird. If you're in class and there's a reasonably good chance you won't be caught goofing off, check it out.

"I feel like..."

Pet peeve: When you start an argument with "I feel like..." When you start an argument that way, I'm not listening. I've already concluded that your argument is more about feelings than logic. Stop saying "I feel like" to introduce a discussion of facts.

It's especially aggravating because women tend to use this phrase, and I'm a woman, and they are not representing their sex well. If they have one, they're not representing their client well either.

The (first draft of the) brief is finished!

Thank goodness. Legal writing is my strongest class, but I find it such a chore to do first drafts. My lowest score last semester was on Bluebooking, which is citing cases and authority in the correct form. What can I say? I'm not a details person. This time, though, I Bluebooked the heck out of that brief. If I get a mediocre grade, it won't be because of Bluebooking.

An appellate brief is very different from the inter-office memo that we wrote last semester. Last semester, legal writing was all about being logical and objective. This semester, logic is still a requirement, but we get to write persuasively, and writing persuasively is SO much easier than writing objectively. I think the mind naturally sympathizes with one side or the other, so (if you're advocating the side that you naturally sympathize with) it just makes more sense to write persuasively. It's natural.

This was just the deadline for the first draft of the brief. After our final drafts are turned in (in April), we get to work with partners and present an oral argument for moot court. My partner rocks, and I'm looking forward to that part.

Blame the Brief

Blogging time is sparse until tomorrow after I turn in my appellate brief for legal writing. Blame it on the brief.

The brief also caused world hunger and bird flu and bad hair days. Also! This isn't confirmed, but I heard the brief was Saddam Hussein's mom.

Blame it on the brief.

Slip that in there. Nice.

"Mrs. Huckabee hoisted one of CNN’s 25lb cameras with impressive ease while the former governor of Arkansas dropped to his knees with the CBS producer’s camera to make sure he got the upward angle as she heaved the ball."

I hope CNN producer Alexander Marquardt, who wrote this sentence, is giggling right now.

You want the truth?

Inevitable, but still chuckle-worthy, parody of the Congressional Steroids hearing. Who knew professors could have such senses of humor?

Silly CNN

From a CNN article about John Grisham:

Reviews of "The Appeal" have been generally positive, though some can be reduced to previous assessments of Grisham: fine storyteller but not a particularly good writer.

"The Appeal" is Grisham's newest book. He's appealingly (heh) humble in the article, talking about how he doesn't expect his work to be treated as fine literature. The alternative, he seems to say, is the label "popular fiction." But I don't see the logic here. Is a story not "fine literature" because it's popular? Does popularity negate quality?

I'm not saying that John Grisham is my hero, but "fine storyteller but not a particularly good writer" doesn't makes sense. The medium that he tells stories through is writing. If he's good at telling stories in writing, doesn't that make him a good writer?

Is sexism less offensive than racism?

Should it be?

Prof. Horwitz has a new cane.

And it has FLAMES on it. He's also taken to pointing with his cane, which is exactly what I would do if I were cool enough to have a pimp cane.

He also posed one of the funniest hypotheticals I've ever heard today. It started out with "So Canada invades Vermont..."

Teacher duct-tapes boy to desk.

Except for the impending lawsuit, it sounds like an efficient discipline strategy to me. Duct tape is cheap, and the boy will probably never back talk again.

[Oops. I just read the story and realized that the teacher did it as a joke. Somebody get out the duct tape -- you can teach me not to comment on news stories without reading them first.]

Congress on Steroids

I'm watching the baseball steroids fracas on CNN, and it's giving me the same entertained-but-stalkerish feeling that reading about Britney Spears on Perez Hilton does. It just seems like an inappropriate level of coverage for the subject matter. Why is Congress (and CNN) spending time on this?

Well, I guess the very fact that I find it compelling TV answers both questions. Everybody plays for ratings.

Viral.

I've recently been enamored by the word "viral." It used to have such a negative connotation -- Get a trash can for that dude! -- but now it has a positive advertising meaning. If something, like a YouTube video or Facebook group, goes viral, it means it gets passed along "virally,"and accidental fame results for the person responsible.

Example # 1: The "My New Haircut" YouTube video.

"Excuse me sir, you have to check in [to the hotel]." "NOT NOW CHIEF, I'm in the f*cking zone."

Example # 2:"Shoez"

"Kelly, what are you going to with your life?" "I'm gonna go get what I WANT."

Example # 3: "Balloons"

"Look at me! This is me being SERIOUS!"

I love the warning for this third video. "What you are about to see may be disturbing for people without a sense of humor."

These are examples of the viral power of the internet to spread things that people don't necessarily want share. But we can harness this power to our own benefit, right? For example, The Facebook group (I judge you when you use poor grammar ) has stalled just under 250,000 members. I predict, if every enthusiastic person harnessed the power of their buddy lists and invited everyone to the group, we'd reach 300,000 by spring break. What do you say?

Shame on you, Mike Huckabee.

I loved you back when you had a chance. Not for your policies -- your policies kinda suck. I loved you for your sense of humor. (This man eats fried squirrel, for crying out loud, and he ADMITS it. He deserves some votes for having that kind of cojones.)

But now? Somebody needs to tell you to stop wasting money. Go feed some orphans.

Interview Season

It's on-campus Interview Season, and more than a baker's dozen of my classmates are in suits. Alas, I have no interviews because of the book, so I don't get to officially take part in the fun. However, I have a plan to unofficially have tons of fun with Interview Season.

The plan starts with dressing up -- business dress -- and adding one slightly nonsensical element, like a tiara or nascar hat. Or maybe some brightly-ugly-crazy colored shoes. (I own both a tiara AND a nascar hat, people. Bright, ugly shoes are not necessarily out of place in my closet.)

Be-decked in my business dress and nascar hat, I come to school. Of course, people will think I have an interview, so when they ask I reply that yes, I do in fact have an interview, and then I'll make up a silly name for the imaginary firm that so sincerely wants to employ me. McWilliams & Sonoma, perhaps. Or Bergdorf, Goodman & Galliano. They both want me pretty badly, I think.

Bad ideas.

Our election system has been criticized for being too polarizing. During the primaries, only the most politically enthusiastic people vote, and they're usually not representative of middle America. We end up with one candidate who is extremely conservative, and one who is extremely liberal. But that's not happening this time, and it's shaping an interesting campaign season.

It looks like we'll have either Clinton or Obama duking it out with John McCain for the presidency. Here's my question. Is it a good thing to have two candidates whose positions on the issues are substantially similar, both to one another and to moderates? Or do we want two vastly different candidates to choose from?

I'd rather the candidates' positions be similar. It encourages a deeper discussion of the issues, because if they agree on the surface, they'd have to discuss the subject further to distinguish themselves. Plus, we may even get a president who represents the country's general consensus, not a candidate who represents the most conservative of the Republicans or the most liberal of the Dems.

Although Pres. Bush said some good things about Huckabee today, here's a quote directly from Huckabee that demonstrates why he'd be bad for the country: "If you look at where our votes are coming from, they're coming from the people who are the most conservative."

BAD idea.

Pimp.

Even Prof. Althouse gets in on the newly academically-appropriate word "pimp". Pimp.

Note to Self: "Being slutty" is not an appropriate self-description.

Although I can't seem to find the article online, I was reading something (admittedly, in Playboy) the other day about a Florida law professor beginning his class by having all his students read their Facebook profiles aloud. [Sidenote: I was just informed that Playboy articles are on Lexis. Nice!] What a great exercise! It demonstrates the importance of public speech, and the content of your Facebook profile is definitely public speech.

I wish one of MY professors would do that. I'm shooting for a different career than most of my co-students; many of them are aiming for high-paying jobs a BigLaw firms, which are generally very touchy about their stuffy reputations. As long as I have internet access and a laptop, I'd rather be a low-paid writer living in a cardboard box. My peers have to be exceptionally cautious about what they put on the internets; I'd rather get laughs. Part of what makes writing interesting for me is the balance between serious, quality writing and just plain being funny. Making people laugh often requires irreverence, so I find myself weighing what degree of sauciness is appropriate for the topic I'm writing about.

Facebook profiles are a pretty liberal forum -- you can get by with a lot, as long as it's funny and well written. However, the girl at Florida whose Facebook profile included "Being slutty" as her primary interest probably quickly realized that "Being slutty" 1) wasn't funny, and 2) made her look stupid. I'd bet my siblings that the girl changed it before the end of the day.

The Basics

"This is southern, face it/ If we too simple, then y'all don't know the basics."

-- Scholar and Philosopher Lil' Wayne.

Numbers make me uncomfortable.

Prop.Prof Krier has a background in Economics, and sometimes he writes formulas and numbers on the board to explain things. This makes me extremely uncomfortable. There aren't supposed to be numbers in law school! No, no, no no no no nonono! Wait, okay, let me pull out my calculator. No, slow down! Oh no, I'm hyperventilating again.

I'm not exagerrating; this is my mental reaction to seeing numbers on the board. If he keeps surprising me like this, I might have to fake-faint one day. It might even be a real faint. You're playing with fire here, Prop.Prof. Seriously, don't be so reckless.

In Appreciation

The U of A's Legal Writing department is darn creative. Our big memo project last semester was based on a claim by Guy A whose friend, Guy B, posted a picture on Facebook of Guy A smoking pot. Our professors even made fake Facebook profiles for Guys A and B, complete with a wide-eyed picture of Guy A "smoking the reefer." It was almost fun when we had to use a thesaurus to find different ways to say "smoke marijuana."

Yesterday we were talking about how to be persuasive when we're writing, and our professor made a handout with quotes from the news coverage of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force publicity campaign that triggered a bomb scare in Boston last summer. A marketing firm paid some kids to put little Lite Bright-resembling boxes around cities, and each box depicted a character from the cartoon. We used the news quotes to talk about the strategy of "anchoring," which just means starting and ending sections of writing with the favorable parts of the narrative. Anything unfavorable to your case, you try to "bury" in the middle.

I represented the Cartoon Network's side, and I picked this quote to anchor my ending. From a Seattle police commissioner (the boxes were also found in Seattle, but public hysteria did not ensue in Seattle like it did in Boston):

"This was not something that people should be concerned about. These were cartoon characters, and they were giving the finger."

Voting

I just voted, which always gives me a little patriotic rush of endorphins.

Alabama has a confusing system though, and it's the least strictly organized voting day that I've ever seen. When I looked up my polling place online, they didn't have my address on file. So I called the County Registrar's Office and was put on hold about 6 times before I finally found out my polling place. Luckily, it was close by and not busy, so I cast my vote quickly then went home. It was very un-ceremonious.

But check this out: the Alabama polls closed at 7:00, and now it's 8:00, and it looks like Obama is going to kill Clinton 70-30%. Alabama has its share of racism and sexism, and it looks like we've made some progress on the racist side.

I'm happy with this election. I respect Clinton, Obama and McCain, and their debates will be more substantive than recent past debates (when the 9/11 card was pulled entirely too often). If any of those three win, we'll have a leader who was voted in by non-strict party lines. One thing is for sure: there will be change. I'm excited to see it happen.

Here's CNN's total election coverage. One thing I would urge you to do: go out and vote if your polls aren't already closed. It's a civic duty or just a chance to influence the law. Just do it.
Why not?

California.

My Evidence professor regularly says some pretty funny things. Recently, he's been fond of using California as the whipping-boy for any negative example he wants to make. What's wrong with America? California. Who can we blame SARS on? California. Where do gay babies come from? California!

It's a good conversational trick, too. Whenever a discussion veers towards a controversial topic like religion, politics [badabing!], or anything just plain boring, blame California and move on. People will laugh and the tension of the previous conversation will be gone. They'll love each other again, and you will be revered for restoring good vibes to the party.

StuPIMPdous

It seems like the "pimp" controversy has extended further than I expected. Above the Law caught on and linked to us yesterday.

Law professor Paul Horwitz has "a PIMP cane" (apparently acquired in the medical assistance section of RiteAid). [PrawfsBlawg; Thank You Ma'am]

The controversy has now risen to the status where it needs a name. "PimpGate" sounds too trite, si? You can come up with a better one.

Regular People

Evidence professor, today:

"C'mon now. Think like you did back before you came to law school, back when you still had common sense. Just think like a regular person."

He's right, law school does seem to suck the common sense out of people. Low common sense and a sense of entitlement -- what a great combination. [Insert your favorite lawyer joke here.]

It's final!

I have great news. Today I signed the contract with publisher St. Martin's Press to write a book based on the Facebook group "I judge you when you use poor grammar." It's final! I have a book deal!

Don't worry, mama, I'm not dropping out of law school. I'll just be multi-tasking for a while.

Cheers, everybody.

Case of the Mondays

I got back in town after attending a wedding this weekend. My wonderful coming-home present: The outline for our appellate assignment is due tomorrow.

On the bright side, check out the comments at this post. My use of the word "pimp" apparently brought some feminist wrath. Today, I only have time to shrug. Tomorrow, after turning in this appellate thing and taking a 6-hour nap, I'll craft a substantive and humorous response. Get excited.

I thought this was over:

Another potential arrest in the Natalie Holloway case.

Teaching, Blogging and Pimping

YES! Prof. Horwitz not only has a pimp cane, he also has a sense of humor:

"What can I say: like most mack daddies, I shop for my canes in the medical assistance section of RiteAid."

This pleases me beyond belief. Thank you, professor!

Go ahead, waste some time.

I'm in Greensboro, NC for the weekend for a wedding. While I get dressed up and drink for free, you can check out these links. I hope your weekend is as much fun as mine. Cheers!

Ann Coulter endorses Clinton over McCain.

Microsoft may buy Yahoo, which makes Microsoft seem even more like Big Brother and Google even more like a good shepherd. In the Microsoft v. Apple war, I'm firmly on Google's side.

Britney's at it again. Wipe the sarcastic surprise off your face.

Jackpot.

For some reason, it never occurred to me that my professors might have blogs. Yesterday, my eyes were opened to the cool-potential of my professors. My Constitutional Law professor, Paul Horwitz, writes for PrawfsBlawg. When I found out that Prof. Horwitz blogs, I had to confess my impulse to bling out his pimp-cane (which I wrote about in this post). I emailed the blog post to him, but he hasn't responded yet. I don't know if that means he's amused or perturbed, but I hope his reaction is positive. It was meant to flatter you, Prof. Horwitz, honest!

I also found out yesterday that my Property professor is as much of a rockstar in property law as his son is in music. The Property rockstar is James Krier, and his son is Andrew W.K.

The professor who has been mentoring me through the book publishing process, Alfred L. Brophy, has a blog as well. Professor Brophy went to lunch with (literal) rockstar dad PropProf. Krier. Here's Prof. Brophy's write-up of their lunch.

Also amusing: Prop.Prof Krier's son, Andrew W.K., released an EP called Party Til You Puke.

Two Things:

As I'm using lunch to furiously skim for Evidence class (and I take full responsibility for having to use lunch to read; I regularly succumb to the influence of my slight academic arrogance, which always says "Don't worry about that, you can do it tomorrow."), I noticed two wonderful things. First, in one of the examples in the book, the girl is named Noe I. Dentity. That's like straight off The Simpson's! Wonderful.

The second thing that amused me was when I misread a hypothetical in the chapter on character evidence. It actually says "Toby Wyatt: Adulterer or Rapist?"

I read it as: "Toby Wyatt: Adulterer or Baptist?"

Busted, Professor.

Although Gchat's notification noise is less obtrusive than AIM's, Gchat's is still distinctive. So distinctive, in fact, that our professor's Gchatting habit was uncovered when someone sent him a Gchat message in class. The notification noise gave him away, and then a little Gchat box popped up on the PowerPoint screen. Busted, professor.

Gratuitous '80's Rap Line of the Day

No I'm not internationally known, but I'm known to rock a microphone. Hit it!

--Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock

The Pre-Emptive Strike Theory

In every class, our professors call on a couple of people per day. You don't know if today is your day to get drilled on a certain case, so you have to be prepared to explain each case each time. It's mentally exhaustive, but I've come up with another strategy that works approximately 86% of the time.

The Pre-Emptive Strike Theory holds that when a student pre-emptively raises his or her hand to answer a question in a law school class, the professor is less likely to call on that student to answer a more difficult question.

When you speak in class voluntarily, you get to choose your question. Choose one you know the answer to. You also get to choose a moment when you're not engrossed in a Gchat discussion on Prof. X's obvious hairpiece, so your attention will not be divided. Finally, it creates the impression that you're on task at other times (when you're actually exploring the non-law school related corners of the internets).

Here's the lesson, kids. Raise your hand next time -- it's less painful.

MLA Beats Down Bluebook

I met with someone at Career Services yesterday. Regarding my resume, the meeting was extremely productive. I had no idea how to put experience writing a blog or a book on a resume, and they helped me get it straight. Also, according to the Bluebook, apparently newspaper names are underlined. Whoda thunk it? I'm going to continue using (approximate) MLA style for this blog, because it's flexible enough to change to fit the pace and tone of what I want to write. The Bluebook is rigid, and while I see how it is useful, it's not gonna work for this blog. Bluebook, I'm sorry. (Not really though.)

Recent Property Professor "Wisdom"

"Don't write things down, because then you won't remember them. It's much easier to just remember everything."

Right. Just remember everything. Why didn't I think of that?

The Root

This strikes me as exploitation. Why do we still feel the need to separate ourselves?

Perspectives

Here's classroom 187 from one seat in on the fourth row:

It's where I've spent most of my life for the past few weeks, and where the rest of my semester will be lived.












Here's the same classroom from the professor's perspective:



I posted these pictures for a few reasons:
(1) I just got a new phone, and wanted to test out the camera function;
(2) I wanted to see how clearly the pictures taken with my phone would show up online;
(3) I wanted to see if the classroom seems as daunting in picture form as it does in person.

Career Services Office

I'm a 1L, just received the grades at the end of my spirit-breaking first semester, so this is my first opportunity to deal with the Career Services Office. My first meeting is tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Super Tuesday is Coming

I'm a newcomer to Alabama's election primary system, so I thought I'd share with you what I'm learning. (I was born and raised in Alabama, but voting wasn't exactly on my 11-year old radar. I was too busy climbing trees and capturing flags with the boys to worry about primary systems).

Super Tuesday refers to the day in early February when a huge number of states hold their primaries. This year, Super Tuesday is February 5th. It's a slightly bigger deal if you're a Democrat -- Dems have 52 percent of their delegates at stake on that day, while Republicans have only 41 %.

Alabama has 9 delegates: 7 representatives and 2 senators. Our primaries this year are on Feb. 5th, and they're open primaries. Open primaries mean that you don't have to register as a dem, republican or independent -- you can just vote in whichever primary you personally affiliate with.

This information was surprisingly difficult to get, but I finally found it at FairVote.org. Check out FairVote even if you're not voting in Alabama; they have pretty accurate information.

A Stunning Lack of Foresight

And I thought our law school's admin was bad. A US spy satellite has lost power, and sometime in the next two weeks, it's going to hit earth. For realz.

Postcards

I collect postcards, and I have some great ones from all over the world. My friend Helen just sent me a few, including one amazingly cheesy one from Washington, DC. Cheesy, by the way, is a big compliment in my book.

She also sent me a few that her naval officer brother Nick got while he was on deployment. I'm a little embarrassed to admit, however, that I had to look up a few of the places to see where they were. Rota, I know now, is in Spain, and Seychelles is in the Indian Ocean about 950 miles off the coast of Africa. Welp, now we know.

If you'd like to add to my postcard collection, email me and I'll send you my address. My primary email address is Senichols@gmail.com.

Mama, check this out.

To make a long story short: I found out a few days ago that my insurance company dropped me when I turned 23 on Dec. 6, but they've been telling me -- up until Jan. 21st -- that I was still covered. They didn't notify me that I was dropped until the 21st, which makes more than a month without insurance coverage. You're supposed to sign up for student health insurance within a month of being dropped by your old insurance company, so because the old company gave me false information and I relied on it, there are problems with my student coverage.

All that boring background leads me to something more exciting. I just wrote my first REAL letter threatening legal action. The "legal action" would be to file a formal complaint with the state insurance board. It's a very mild threat, but it gave me a rush nonetheless.

See, mama? I am totally learning useful things in law school.

"Check" your mail.

Oh, puns. Get it?

Law Students and Stress

"The emotional distress of law students appears to significantly exceed that of medical students and at times approach that of psychiatric populations.” -- Finding of a new(ish) study, found via the WSJ Law Blog.

Why is law school so stressful? Is law school even more stressful than medical school? I think it is, and the number of hours spent doesn't have much to do with it. If you tell a medical student that law school is more stressful than med school, they'll likely respond by telling you how many hours they just spent in a lab or studying for a test. But just because you spend hours and hours doing something doesn't necessarily mean that it's stressful. The only instance when time spent studying is truly stressful is when I'm not getting enough sleep. Lack of sleep takes an emotional and physical toll, but this doesn't explain the difference in stress levels between law and other graduate students.

It doesn't relate to the difficulty of the material, either. I'm not disputing that med school is hard -- it should be hard, and law school is hard too. Both take a ton of work to be admitted and to stay afloat.

I think it has something to do with the method of accountability in law school. Law classes are dialogues that turn into verbal battles sometimes. The system is adversarial by nature. As a student, you have to do all the assigned reading because you might be called on -- not only to answer specific questions, but to take and defend a position on an issue. Making an argument about the material takes more than a cursory knowledge of it. And usually, law professors are not kind enough to move on to another student if they call on someone who doesn't know the answer. The alternative to being prepared is being embarrassed in front of your class, and people will usually go to great lengths to avoid embarrassment.

Any and all bitterness I have, I blame on law school.

How hard is it to get a restraining order?

My boyfriend is really annoying. (Grrrreat headline, and the article is interesting too.)

I have hate in my heart.

I just finished our Legal Research take-home exam for the semester, and we had to do a bunch of research tasks on both Westlaw and Lexis. After that test, it is obvious that I am a Westlaw girl. The only hate that resides in my heart is Lexis' fault. I hate Lexis with a good portion of my heart (not all my heart, because sometimes Westlaw doesn't work and Lexis does. But it's close to all of my heart).

On the positive side, hurray for Westlaw.

"Clinton-Obama Feud Shows no Sign of Easing"

1) The obviousness of this headline made me laugh. Why would their opposition to one another end? They're candidates running against each other; this is not news.

2) "Feud" is a funny word.

3) The picture is of Bill Clinton, who is the least currently relevant person in this political threesome. Why not show a picture of the candidates Clinton or Obama? I think CNN chose this picture because they liked Bill's parental finger pointing. "Kids, be nice to each other. Because I told you to. Because I said so. Don't make me tell you again. GET OFF THE SHED!"

**Bonus points if you get the "shed" reference.

Better Luck Next Time

This comment was left anonymously after the Ghetto Vocabulary post the other day:

FYI . . .Ebonics does not equal ghetto vocabulary. While the conversations on "The Wire" are certainly ghetto, the conversations represent Baltimore street vernacular (I'm sure that you understand how the vernacular may change from region to region since you are from Troy, AL) Thus, it follows that what you heard on "The Wire" was not Ebonics.

Oooh snap. I can feel the condescension dripping from those words. It's almost an admirable level of pretentiousness -- if only it had been logical. Also, what's with the implied dis to the Southland? That's like seeing a group of hot girls and hitting on the ugly one because you're feeling lazy. It's just too easy to be an accomplishment.

That was a great shot, Anonymous. Better luck next time.

How to Use a Calculator

Every time the law school's administration organizes a large, mandatory meeting, they put us in a room that fits about 90% of the people that THEY asked to come. Most of the group gets a seat, and the rest end up standing or sitting on the floor. This is not because of a shortage of big rooms or a chair deficiency; there are plenty of rooms that fit all of us, and certainly enough chairs to go around.

Either (1)my law school's administration cannot count, or (2)they are irrationally optimistic.

If they simply can't count, that's embarrassing but pardonable. Lawyers aren't supposed to count. Heck, I can't count. But, I CAN use a calculator. Surely there is someone in the law school's administration who knows how to use a calculator.

I suspect, however, that the second choice is a better explanation for the seat-shortage. Someone knows that our class has 182 people in it and keeps hoping that we'll fit in a 160-person room. Even accounting for absences, that's not reasonable. Come on now.

Since I'm feeling charitable today (and since it will benefit me), I'll volunteer my services. If someone in the law school administration wants to learn, I'll teach you how to use a calculator.

Ghetto Vocabulary

I started watching The Wire recently, and it made me realize that I am not as fluent in Ebonics as I'd like to be. I really want to increase my ghetto vocabulary, and a trip to Tee's Ribs 'N' Things a few days ago added to my urban education. For example, I learned the Law of BBQ.

Law of BBQ: Bar-b-que is better from restaurants with bars on the windows.

Tee's had the best BBQ I've ever had, and the ghetto-fabulousity of the place made the experience even better. There were bars on the windows, a sign declaring "No Guns Allowed," and a bike with stolen tires tied to a meter out front. There was also a sign that I took a picture of saying "No O Dawgs Allowed." Being a curious little blonde girl with poor impulse control, I asked the cashier "What's an 'O Dawg?'"

If you don't already know, take a guess before you read on. Is an "O Dawg" some kind of weapon? Drug? A new breed of trouble-causing hoodlum?

An "O Dawg" is a big T-shirt with the arms cut off, so the arm holes make big "O" shapes. Now that you know what an O Dawg is, please, don't wear one. Nobody wants to see that.

Speaking of CNN

I have a site meter that keeps track of the referral links of visitors, so when someone gets to this page by clicking on a link on another website, the site meter records it. I was looking at the traffic log a few minutes ago, and realized that a bunch of people were getting here from a CNN.com page. Did CNN link to me?

It turns out they kinda did. I linked to this CNN story, and they have a feature under their news stories (I just noticed this feature) that searches blogs that are already talking about CNN stories. If you click on "From the Blogs" underneath the news story, Thank You Ma'am comes up. For real! So in a circuitous and not really monumental way, CNN linked here.

High five.

ALL Caps.

CNN has an anchor named John KING. What more gangster news anchor name could possibly exist? I can't even type it without using all caps.

"You're watching CNN Headline News. Now back to John KING in the studio."

"My friend."

Fred Thompson peppered his Saturday speech in South Carolina with the phrase "my friend." Other politicians do this as well. It's another appearance of that calculated, folksy, fake-intimate type of speech that baby-kissers seem fond of lately. Anytime a politician says the words "my friend," I shut down and stop listening. It triggers my defenses because it sounds so disingenuous.

No, I'm not your friend. You're not my friend, and you're not going to convince me that we're friends. Stop saying it.

And no, you can't kiss my baby.

My Blogging Philosophy:

Avoid being boring.

Priorities

My parents are in town and I'm in Birmingham for the day. My brother Jay, who is 21, was just describing his new love interest to my dad, who is a Southern Baptist pastor. Here's the snippet I just overheard:

Dad: Does she go to church?

Jay: I think so.

Dad: Is she a Baptist?

Jay: I don't know! She drives a Range Rover.

Law School Gunners

Above the Law has an open thread this morning about law school "gunners." A gunner is someone who is inappropriately enthusiastic and insensitive to class etiquette, always "gunning" for a chance to speak. Gunners quickly get the disdain of everyone else in their class, including the professors.

The one gunner (that I can think of) in our class is, thankfully, more amusing than annoying. I actually have a lot of affection for him, and I like it when he talks because he usually says something funny. He's earned the nickname "The Sniper" because he sits in the back/top of the room and always finds a way to reference guns in his class comments. The Sniper is from Texas, and if the topic doesn't allow him a chance to talk about guns, he falls back on a Texas comment. Here's my favorite standard comment from The Sniper:

"I don't know about where y'all are from, but everything's bigger in Texas, including our guns."

Mischief

I had the opportunity to take part in some college mischief the other day. A few weeks ago, I started doing shout-outs to members of the grammar group on the group's main page, like a Member of the Week feature. A student at Messiah College sent me a message about her teacher, Professor Jay McDermond, who is the College's resident Grammar Nazi. He actually wrote on someone's paper "Is English your second language?"

I saluted him on the grammar group's main page, and Messiah students got a little giggle out of it. I giggled too.

Golfweek

Rightfully, I think, the editor of Golfweek was fired over this cover featuring a noose. Dave Seanor displayed some remarkable obtuseness when he approved this cover in reference to the comment that Kelly Tilghman made about Tiger Woods -- that the other golfers might "lynch him [Woods] in a back alley."

In reference to yesterday's post about Michael Vick: Really, Kelly Tilghman? Really, Dave Seanor?

What's going on?

Is this a glitch on my computer or another evil plan by Microsoft? I sometimes save images to my computer to post on the blog when I think they'll add to a certain post, but lately when I'm viewing a page in Internet Explorer and I try to save an image, I get a message that says "Access denied." But then when I open the same page in Firefox, I'm able to save the picture. Is this some sort of copyright protection effort from Microsoft, or is it a glitch on my computer?

I even got that message when I tried to save a picture on Facebook. Anybody know what's going on?

Miles to go.

On a recent road trip all over the Southeast, we were trying to figure out if we'd traveled, in total, the same number of miles that the United States is wide. From NYC to SanFrancisco, how many miles would you guess there were?

I guessed around 2,000, then we revised that figure to 2,500. We were off by a few hundred miles. What do you think the answer is?

The answer is 2,908.89 miles from New York City to San Francisco, which, according to MapQuest, you can drive in 42 hours and 37 minutes. I have my doubts about that second figure.

File this under "Hate Mail."

If you don't know about the grammar Facebook group, check out the old posts here and here. Currently, we're about 240,000 strong. Every once in a while I get messages composed of the heartfelt ramblings of confused people who take offense at the group. Here's one I received today.

i[sic] think that ths[sic] group is STUPID and GAY!!![sic]because like really come on sometimes people don't gt enough schooling tobe able to have the right Grammar or whatever!! like would you JUDGE a little girl or anyone from like a foreign country, now would you... so why would you "JUUDGE" a "NORMAL" person i would think that you people make mystakes ometimes, i mean i'm sure you guys make somemystakes sometimes. and again i say... THIS GROUP IS RETATRED!!!

I gave up on the [sic]s after the third one. Thank you, Jessica Postma from Woodstock Collegiate Institute.

I hope Rush Limbaugh trash talks me one day.

My Facebook friend Ezra Klein got trash-talked by Rush Limbaugh. That's a status symbol that I hope to earn one day.

UPDATE: Link fixed.

Really.

One of my favorite SNL skits is a Weekend Update segment with Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler. In it, they mock Michael Vick for trying to sneak weed past an airport security checkpoint in a water bottle that he wasn't allowed to take on the plane in the first place. The skit is called "Really?!"

Amy: You didn't want to throw your weed away before you went through security?

Seth: Really?!

Amy: You have $117,000,000 left on your contract. Do you know what a $117,000,000 means? It means you can afford to replace your weed if you have to throw it away at the airport.

Seth: Really. And you got caught at the Miami airport, really? You didn't think they'd check for drugs... at the airport... in Miami? Really?

Amy: Michael, do you not have an entourage? Because you should put together an entourage. And the first guy in that entourage should be called "Michael Vick's Official Weed Carrier."

Seth: Really. Also, you were flying back to Atlanta. Where you live. Do you not keep weed at your house? Because if you like weed, you should have some at your house. Really.

Seth & Amy together: Really?!

I think about this skit whenever I see something stupid in class, or, more often, when I read something stupid in the news. You think we shouldn't have private property? Really? Eddie Murphy says his wedding was symbolic? Really?

They should update the SNL skit to address Michael Vick's more recent legal problems. Michael, you have millions of dollars, and you felt the need to use it to finance dog fighting? Really? Did you think you'd make some money from dog fighting? Was this money really substantial enough to outweigh the embarrassing possibility of being caught for... dog fighting?

Really.



ADDED: There's an inadvertant SNL allusion in the news today. CNN's headline about on-the-run Marine Cpl. Cesar Laurean describes him as "like MacGyver." Or, perhaps... like MacGruber?

SPOGG

National Grammar Day is March 4th, and we've decided to partner with The Society for Promotion of Good Grammar to encourage the use of proper grammar, especially on March 4th.

By the way, their acronym is SPOGG, which is way cooler than IJYWYUPG (I judge you when you use poor grammar).

Brad Renfro is Dead

My friend Gloria's comment on the situation:

"You know you're getting old when your childhood crushes start dying."

Gloria's facing her 27th birthday in a week.

Superman-ing Jerry Falwell

I’m tired of hearing “Superman” used as a verb. However clever it was originally, it’s been tired out by overuse. Maybe in a few years you can use “Superman” as a verb again and it’ll be cool in a throwback sense, but not right now. You can’t Superman that ho’ anymo’; “Superman” is too tired to be effective.

I do, however, advocate the use of another noun as a verb: Jerry Falwell. More specifically, I just want you to use his last name. To “Falwell that ho” means to put a woman in her place, figuratively or literally. It has a broader meaning than “superman,” making it more useful in a variety of situations. Go ahead, use it in a sentence. It’ll make you look witty and cultured at cocktail parties.

To quote The People vs. Larry Flynt: “There is a public interest in making Jerry Falwell look ludicrous.”

Impulses

I struggle with my impulses sometimes. For example, when I see something climb-able, I have a strong impulse to climb it. That applies to trees, buildings with low ledges, and especially statues. I have to remind myself when I'm in downtown Annapolis that it might be disrespectful to stand on top of Kunta Kinte's head. It's difficult, but I've talked myself out of that particular impulse. Most of the time.

Today, I had a similarly inappropriate impulse. My Constitutional Law professor had back surgery a few days ago. As a result, he walks with a cane. A PIMP cane, which would be made even more pimp-like if he would let me act on my impulse to bling it out. This cane is crying out for some diamonds and dollar signs (and rims! Think of the possibilities!), and I want to be the one to up the pimp-factor on my professor's cane.

If he turns down my offer to pimp his cane, I'm going to have to sit on my hands.

Finders, Keepers

Quotes from the introduction in my property book:

"Possession is eleven points in the law." -- Colley Cibber

This reminded me of the best scene in This is Spinal Tap, with the "But this one goes to eleven" exchange. I wonder if the Spinal Tap quote was influenced by the property quote, or if it was just a coincidence. It was probably just a coincidence, but the similarity made me laugh.

Here's the final quote from the intro to the property book:

"Finders keepers, losers weepers." -- Old Scottish Proverb

Eloquent, isn't it?

Haha, awesome.

I just got called "Miss Shnichols" by one of my professors, in class.

Congratulations, Professor Althouse.

Professor Althouse's blog is four years old today. Prof. Althouse is a visiting professor at the Brooklyn Law School in NYC, but she usually teaches at the University of Wisconsin Law School in Madison, Wisconsin.

She's a veteran in the blogging world, and my somewhat-unwitting mentor. Her blog was the first one I read and it's probably equal to Paco's blog in its influence on my writing. Prof. Althouse approaches politics and current events in a way that is utterly practical and interesting to me. She blogs about what catches her eye that day, and she (thankfully) doesn't comment on things that either don't interest her or about which she doesn't have anything significant to add. It's a rather un-narcissistic approach to blogging, which is kind of unusual and refreshing.

I hope my writing will resemble her precise and practical approach one day.

Lazy Sunday

I went to Barnes and Noble today and bought The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, by Junot Diaz. New York Magazine ranked it as one of the best novels of the year, so we'll see. I am excited about reading it. I also bought Dave Egger's The Best American Non-required Reading of 2007, which is usually an insightful collection of great short fiction from the year. I just noticed that Sufjan Stevens wrote the introduction, and I'm a big fan of his aggressively imaginative music, so I have high hopes for his writing as well.

Now I'm watching Alabama basketball on TV while checking email and catching up on the blog. Alabama and Florida are tied, by the way.

Laundry and cleaning are next on the list of Sunday chores. I hope your lazy Sunday is going as well as mine is.

I hate cigarettes, but I like this picture.

Life Lists and Moonshine

I generally hate lists and resolutions. If you "officially" declare that you're going to get your oil changed today, or get a B in Contracts, or lose ten pounds by February, you're only setting yourself up to feel like a failure. If it's a motivational tool and it actually works for you, fine. But when I do it, I just end up feeling like a failure. So I take a different approach to "life lists," or Things I Want to do Before I Die.

My list isn't very specific. It includes anything that will make a good story when I'm too old to do anything but tell stories. If I succeed, my great-grandchildren will think I just made up all my stories, when in fact they actually happened. I hope to hear "Ha-ha, you got them Grandma! They actually believed you!" Then I'll laugh at my "deception," knowing that these stories actually happened, even if my grandkids don't believe me.

Besides, I'm a horrible liar. I need true crazy stories to be interesting.

Anyway, one of those events happened over Christmas break when I drank moonshine for the first time. I didn't actually know that "Drink moonshine" was on my life list until we started talking about it that night, but after doing it, I'm definitely depositing a mental check on my list.

I was with Josh at his friends' place in the hills of NC. The moonshine was brown and had "blueberries" in it, although they looked more like "brownberries" to me. I took a drink. It burned like heck so I made a spectacularly girly "Eewwwwwww!" noise. One of Josh's friends informed me that eating a berry was the equivalent of taking a shot of whiskey, so I said "Ok!" and promptly swallowed one. Then I gave already-intoxicated Josh two berries. Hehe.

It was the most disgusting thing that has ever made its way to my stomach, but I drank the darn moonshine and lived to tell about it.

Legal Writing Grade Breakdown

My Legal Writing professor just did a breakdown of the grades he gave out. As I mentioned before, I turned in my memo late and the professor took 10% off the final grade. I ended up with a B-, meaning that I wrote an A- paper before calculating in the lateness penalty. After seeing the grade breakdown for this class, I'm pretty happy with the outcome of the situation.

Out of 43 total people,

2 people received A's
4 people received A-'s
4 people received B+'s
33 people received B's or below.

"First, they get to make mistakes — scribble, scribble, scribble, making mistakes."

"And then, that's their raw material for a whole new set of articles."

Ann Althouse on the political pundit machine.

That Happened Quickly

I changed my position on my Evidence teacher from ambivalence to adoration when he posted this quote on a PowerPoint slide and had us repeat it after him:

"Law school grades will not determine if I will be a great lawyer."

"Make a surprise for your woman!"

That's the subject line of my favorite spam email I've received so far today.

Grades Part II

Grades for four out of our five classes were released today, but we're still waiting on the 5th and final class grade. My guess is that it's taking them longer to release this one because they have to calculate overall rankings. So I know that I passed 4 out of my 5 classes, but the 5th is still up in the air along with my class rank.

Oh well. I'm content with my grades -- they weren't great, and weren't horrible. I did pretty much how I expected. Now that I have a better idea how to do this law school thang, I'm going to do the darn thang and do it better.

"Today's a two-vicodin day!"

-- Constitutional Law professor, who recently had back surgery but is bravely teaching his class anyway.

Here's his full quote: "I decided since teaching on one vicodin was so much fun yesterday, two would be even more fun. Today's a two-vicodin day!"

Quotes from Property Class

Professor: Why is there over-fishing going on?
Student: Because fish are delicious.


Professor to Student 1: Why are you yawning?
Student 1: I'm not sorry for my yawn.
Professor: Well good for you! What did you do last night?
Student 1: Nothing, my dad just snores really loudly.

[Laughter from class.]

Student 2: Welcome to Alabama!

Class Number 3: Evidence

So far, I'm not enjoying Evidence. The professor came off as rigid and nervously pretentious. It's like he's not really arrogant, but it's a coping mechanism for his nervousness. Instead of letting his self-consciousness show, he's overcompensating by acting pretentious. That's unfortunate. Maybe -- hopefully -- he'll get more comfortable with us and drop the act.

I do like the fact that he uses PowerPoint. He's the first professor I've had in law school who uses it, and I like it because it makes clear the things that he thinks are important. He displayed those points prominently on the PowerPoint slides, so he must consider those things important. It also works the other way around: PowerPoint makes the important things clear. The things that he considers to be important are clarified because we can read the words on a screen, so there's no misunderstanding his words. I suppose writing can be unclear just as speech can, but when speech is supported by written words, miscommunication is less likely.

Thumph Quote:

Thumph sits beside me in several classes. He helps my days go by quicker by inserting funny comments via Gchat. His latest that amused me:

"Law school makes me feel like 3/5 of a person."

Class Number 2: Constitutional Law

I thought I would really like this class, but it hasn't happened yet. The first class was boringly text-centered, which is predictable and perhaps necessary, but still boring. Yes, we've read the Constitution. Can we apply it now? Give us a crazy hypothetical about your insane uncle's gun collection! Let us talk about Guantanamo or Martin Luther King Jr. or Gary Coleman (heh)!

Now we're talking about counting votes. This could get interesting. I'm gonna go stir the pot a little bit -- perhaps I'll bring up Bush v. Gore and say something outrageous.

Class Number 1: Property

The professor is Krier, and I like him. He keeps running around the classroom energetically asking us questions that are meant to be funny. So far, in his hypotheticals, he's mentioned: a fox, land owned by a 5-year old, and a pregnant husband. He's acknowledged the sweat stains under his arms and says that you don't learn if you aren't willing to be humiliated -- he encouraged us to laugh it off if we ever feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. He doesn't like talking in PC terms, which is refreshing. He said we don't have to raise out hands to speak, and there hasn't been a seating chart mentioned.

My prediction: We're going to a have fun, if disorganized, semester in this class.

Round 2

As much as I've been digging the no-alarm mornings over Christmas break, I'm kinda ready to get back in the swing of things. Law school classes start again tomorrow.

I think the other 1Ls will agree that this semester is a lot less daunting than the first one. Knowing what to expect is half the battle, and we've got that part down. Now we just have to actually do it.

So, here we go. Round 2: BEGIN!