Interview Season

It's on-campus Interview Season, and more than a baker's dozen of my classmates are in suits. Alas, I have no interviews because of the book, so I don't get to officially take part in the fun. However, I have a plan to unofficially have tons of fun with Interview Season.

The plan starts with dressing up -- business dress -- and adding one slightly nonsensical element, like a tiara or nascar hat. Or maybe some brightly-ugly-crazy colored shoes. (I own both a tiara AND a nascar hat, people. Bright, ugly shoes are not necessarily out of place in my closet.)

Be-decked in my business dress and nascar hat, I come to school. Of course, people will think I have an interview, so when they ask I reply that yes, I do in fact have an interview, and then I'll make up a silly name for the imaginary firm that so sincerely wants to employ me. McWilliams & Sonoma, perhaps. Or Bergdorf, Goodman & Galliano. They both want me pretty badly, I think.

Bad ideas.

Our election system has been criticized for being too polarizing. During the primaries, only the most politically enthusiastic people vote, and they're usually not representative of middle America. We end up with one candidate who is extremely conservative, and one who is extremely liberal. But that's not happening this time, and it's shaping an interesting campaign season.

It looks like we'll have either Clinton or Obama duking it out with John McCain for the presidency. Here's my question. Is it a good thing to have two candidates whose positions on the issues are substantially similar, both to one another and to moderates? Or do we want two vastly different candidates to choose from?

I'd rather the candidates' positions be similar. It encourages a deeper discussion of the issues, because if they agree on the surface, they'd have to discuss the subject further to distinguish themselves. Plus, we may even get a president who represents the country's general consensus, not a candidate who represents the most conservative of the Republicans or the most liberal of the Dems.

Although Pres. Bush said some good things about Huckabee today, here's a quote directly from Huckabee that demonstrates why he'd be bad for the country: "If you look at where our votes are coming from, they're coming from the people who are the most conservative."

BAD idea.

Pimp.

Even Prof. Althouse gets in on the newly academically-appropriate word "pimp". Pimp.

Note to Self: "Being slutty" is not an appropriate self-description.

Although I can't seem to find the article online, I was reading something (admittedly, in Playboy) the other day about a Florida law professor beginning his class by having all his students read their Facebook profiles aloud. [Sidenote: I was just informed that Playboy articles are on Lexis. Nice!] What a great exercise! It demonstrates the importance of public speech, and the content of your Facebook profile is definitely public speech.

I wish one of MY professors would do that. I'm shooting for a different career than most of my co-students; many of them are aiming for high-paying jobs a BigLaw firms, which are generally very touchy about their stuffy reputations. As long as I have internet access and a laptop, I'd rather be a low-paid writer living in a cardboard box. My peers have to be exceptionally cautious about what they put on the internets; I'd rather get laughs. Part of what makes writing interesting for me is the balance between serious, quality writing and just plain being funny. Making people laugh often requires irreverence, so I find myself weighing what degree of sauciness is appropriate for the topic I'm writing about.

Facebook profiles are a pretty liberal forum -- you can get by with a lot, as long as it's funny and well written. However, the girl at Florida whose Facebook profile included "Being slutty" as her primary interest probably quickly realized that "Being slutty" 1) wasn't funny, and 2) made her look stupid. I'd bet my siblings that the girl changed it before the end of the day.

The Basics

"This is southern, face it/ If we too simple, then y'all don't know the basics."

-- Scholar and Philosopher Lil' Wayne.

Numbers make me uncomfortable.

Prop.Prof Krier has a background in Economics, and sometimes he writes formulas and numbers on the board to explain things. This makes me extremely uncomfortable. There aren't supposed to be numbers in law school! No, no, no no no no nonono! Wait, okay, let me pull out my calculator. No, slow down! Oh no, I'm hyperventilating again.

I'm not exagerrating; this is my mental reaction to seeing numbers on the board. If he keeps surprising me like this, I might have to fake-faint one day. It might even be a real faint. You're playing with fire here, Prop.Prof. Seriously, don't be so reckless.

In Appreciation

The U of A's Legal Writing department is darn creative. Our big memo project last semester was based on a claim by Guy A whose friend, Guy B, posted a picture on Facebook of Guy A smoking pot. Our professors even made fake Facebook profiles for Guys A and B, complete with a wide-eyed picture of Guy A "smoking the reefer." It was almost fun when we had to use a thesaurus to find different ways to say "smoke marijuana."

Yesterday we were talking about how to be persuasive when we're writing, and our professor made a handout with quotes from the news coverage of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force publicity campaign that triggered a bomb scare in Boston last summer. A marketing firm paid some kids to put little Lite Bright-resembling boxes around cities, and each box depicted a character from the cartoon. We used the news quotes to talk about the strategy of "anchoring," which just means starting and ending sections of writing with the favorable parts of the narrative. Anything unfavorable to your case, you try to "bury" in the middle.

I represented the Cartoon Network's side, and I picked this quote to anchor my ending. From a Seattle police commissioner (the boxes were also found in Seattle, but public hysteria did not ensue in Seattle like it did in Boston):

"This was not something that people should be concerned about. These were cartoon characters, and they were giving the finger."

Voting

I just voted, which always gives me a little patriotic rush of endorphins.

Alabama has a confusing system though, and it's the least strictly organized voting day that I've ever seen. When I looked up my polling place online, they didn't have my address on file. So I called the County Registrar's Office and was put on hold about 6 times before I finally found out my polling place. Luckily, it was close by and not busy, so I cast my vote quickly then went home. It was very un-ceremonious.

But check this out: the Alabama polls closed at 7:00, and now it's 8:00, and it looks like Obama is going to kill Clinton 70-30%. Alabama has its share of racism and sexism, and it looks like we've made some progress on the racist side.

I'm happy with this election. I respect Clinton, Obama and McCain, and their debates will be more substantive than recent past debates (when the 9/11 card was pulled entirely too often). If any of those three win, we'll have a leader who was voted in by non-strict party lines. One thing is for sure: there will be change. I'm excited to see it happen.

Here's CNN's total election coverage. One thing I would urge you to do: go out and vote if your polls aren't already closed. It's a civic duty or just a chance to influence the law. Just do it.
Why not?

California.

My Evidence professor regularly says some pretty funny things. Recently, he's been fond of using California as the whipping-boy for any negative example he wants to make. What's wrong with America? California. Who can we blame SARS on? California. Where do gay babies come from? California!

It's a good conversational trick, too. Whenever a discussion veers towards a controversial topic like religion, politics [badabing!], or anything just plain boring, blame California and move on. People will laugh and the tension of the previous conversation will be gone. They'll love each other again, and you will be revered for restoring good vibes to the party.

StuPIMPdous

It seems like the "pimp" controversy has extended further than I expected. Above the Law caught on and linked to us yesterday.

Law professor Paul Horwitz has "a PIMP cane" (apparently acquired in the medical assistance section of RiteAid). [PrawfsBlawg; Thank You Ma'am]

The controversy has now risen to the status where it needs a name. "PimpGate" sounds too trite, si? You can come up with a better one.

Regular People

Evidence professor, today:

"C'mon now. Think like you did back before you came to law school, back when you still had common sense. Just think like a regular person."

He's right, law school does seem to suck the common sense out of people. Low common sense and a sense of entitlement -- what a great combination. [Insert your favorite lawyer joke here.]

It's final!

I have great news. Today I signed the contract with publisher St. Martin's Press to write a book based on the Facebook group "I judge you when you use poor grammar." It's final! I have a book deal!

Don't worry, mama, I'm not dropping out of law school. I'll just be multi-tasking for a while.

Cheers, everybody.

Case of the Mondays

I got back in town after attending a wedding this weekend. My wonderful coming-home present: The outline for our appellate assignment is due tomorrow.

On the bright side, check out the comments at this post. My use of the word "pimp" apparently brought some feminist wrath. Today, I only have time to shrug. Tomorrow, after turning in this appellate thing and taking a 6-hour nap, I'll craft a substantive and humorous response. Get excited.

I thought this was over:

Another potential arrest in the Natalie Holloway case.

Teaching, Blogging and Pimping

YES! Prof. Horwitz not only has a pimp cane, he also has a sense of humor:

"What can I say: like most mack daddies, I shop for my canes in the medical assistance section of RiteAid."

This pleases me beyond belief. Thank you, professor!

Go ahead, waste some time.

I'm in Greensboro, NC for the weekend for a wedding. While I get dressed up and drink for free, you can check out these links. I hope your weekend is as much fun as mine. Cheers!

Ann Coulter endorses Clinton over McCain.

Microsoft may buy Yahoo, which makes Microsoft seem even more like Big Brother and Google even more like a good shepherd. In the Microsoft v. Apple war, I'm firmly on Google's side.

Britney's at it again. Wipe the sarcastic surprise off your face.

Jackpot.

For some reason, it never occurred to me that my professors might have blogs. Yesterday, my eyes were opened to the cool-potential of my professors. My Constitutional Law professor, Paul Horwitz, writes for PrawfsBlawg. When I found out that Prof. Horwitz blogs, I had to confess my impulse to bling out his pimp-cane (which I wrote about in this post). I emailed the blog post to him, but he hasn't responded yet. I don't know if that means he's amused or perturbed, but I hope his reaction is positive. It was meant to flatter you, Prof. Horwitz, honest!

I also found out yesterday that my Property professor is as much of a rockstar in property law as his son is in music. The Property rockstar is James Krier, and his son is Andrew W.K.

The professor who has been mentoring me through the book publishing process, Alfred L. Brophy, has a blog as well. Professor Brophy went to lunch with (literal) rockstar dad PropProf. Krier. Here's Prof. Brophy's write-up of their lunch.

Also amusing: Prop.Prof Krier's son, Andrew W.K., released an EP called Party Til You Puke.

Two Things:

As I'm using lunch to furiously skim for Evidence class (and I take full responsibility for having to use lunch to read; I regularly succumb to the influence of my slight academic arrogance, which always says "Don't worry about that, you can do it tomorrow."), I noticed two wonderful things. First, in one of the examples in the book, the girl is named Noe I. Dentity. That's like straight off The Simpson's! Wonderful.

The second thing that amused me was when I misread a hypothetical in the chapter on character evidence. It actually says "Toby Wyatt: Adulterer or Rapist?"

I read it as: "Toby Wyatt: Adulterer or Baptist?"

Busted, Professor.

Although Gchat's notification noise is less obtrusive than AIM's, Gchat's is still distinctive. So distinctive, in fact, that our professor's Gchatting habit was uncovered when someone sent him a Gchat message in class. The notification noise gave him away, and then a little Gchat box popped up on the PowerPoint screen. Busted, professor.

Gratuitous '80's Rap Line of the Day

No I'm not internationally known, but I'm known to rock a microphone. Hit it!

--Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock

The Pre-Emptive Strike Theory

In every class, our professors call on a couple of people per day. You don't know if today is your day to get drilled on a certain case, so you have to be prepared to explain each case each time. It's mentally exhaustive, but I've come up with another strategy that works approximately 86% of the time.

The Pre-Emptive Strike Theory holds that when a student pre-emptively raises his or her hand to answer a question in a law school class, the professor is less likely to call on that student to answer a more difficult question.

When you speak in class voluntarily, you get to choose your question. Choose one you know the answer to. You also get to choose a moment when you're not engrossed in a Gchat discussion on Prof. X's obvious hairpiece, so your attention will not be divided. Finally, it creates the impression that you're on task at other times (when you're actually exploring the non-law school related corners of the internets).

Here's the lesson, kids. Raise your hand next time -- it's less painful.

MLA Beats Down Bluebook

I met with someone at Career Services yesterday. Regarding my resume, the meeting was extremely productive. I had no idea how to put experience writing a blog or a book on a resume, and they helped me get it straight. Also, according to the Bluebook, apparently newspaper names are underlined. Whoda thunk it? I'm going to continue using (approximate) MLA style for this blog, because it's flexible enough to change to fit the pace and tone of what I want to write. The Bluebook is rigid, and while I see how it is useful, it's not gonna work for this blog. Bluebook, I'm sorry. (Not really though.)

Recent Property Professor "Wisdom"

"Don't write things down, because then you won't remember them. It's much easier to just remember everything."

Right. Just remember everything. Why didn't I think of that?

The Root

This strikes me as exploitation. Why do we still feel the need to separate ourselves?

Perspectives

Here's classroom 187 from one seat in on the fourth row:

It's where I've spent most of my life for the past few weeks, and where the rest of my semester will be lived.












Here's the same classroom from the professor's perspective:



I posted these pictures for a few reasons:
(1) I just got a new phone, and wanted to test out the camera function;
(2) I wanted to see how clearly the pictures taken with my phone would show up online;
(3) I wanted to see if the classroom seems as daunting in picture form as it does in person.

Career Services Office

I'm a 1L, just received the grades at the end of my spirit-breaking first semester, so this is my first opportunity to deal with the Career Services Office. My first meeting is tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Super Tuesday is Coming

I'm a newcomer to Alabama's election primary system, so I thought I'd share with you what I'm learning. (I was born and raised in Alabama, but voting wasn't exactly on my 11-year old radar. I was too busy climbing trees and capturing flags with the boys to worry about primary systems).

Super Tuesday refers to the day in early February when a huge number of states hold their primaries. This year, Super Tuesday is February 5th. It's a slightly bigger deal if you're a Democrat -- Dems have 52 percent of their delegates at stake on that day, while Republicans have only 41 %.

Alabama has 9 delegates: 7 representatives and 2 senators. Our primaries this year are on Feb. 5th, and they're open primaries. Open primaries mean that you don't have to register as a dem, republican or independent -- you can just vote in whichever primary you personally affiliate with.

This information was surprisingly difficult to get, but I finally found it at FairVote.org. Check out FairVote even if you're not voting in Alabama; they have pretty accurate information.

A Stunning Lack of Foresight

And I thought our law school's admin was bad. A US spy satellite has lost power, and sometime in the next two weeks, it's going to hit earth. For realz.

Postcards

I collect postcards, and I have some great ones from all over the world. My friend Helen just sent me a few, including one amazingly cheesy one from Washington, DC. Cheesy, by the way, is a big compliment in my book.

She also sent me a few that her naval officer brother Nick got while he was on deployment. I'm a little embarrassed to admit, however, that I had to look up a few of the places to see where they were. Rota, I know now, is in Spain, and Seychelles is in the Indian Ocean about 950 miles off the coast of Africa. Welp, now we know.

If you'd like to add to my postcard collection, email me and I'll send you my address. My primary email address is Senichols@gmail.com.

Mama, check this out.

To make a long story short: I found out a few days ago that my insurance company dropped me when I turned 23 on Dec. 6, but they've been telling me -- up until Jan. 21st -- that I was still covered. They didn't notify me that I was dropped until the 21st, which makes more than a month without insurance coverage. You're supposed to sign up for student health insurance within a month of being dropped by your old insurance company, so because the old company gave me false information and I relied on it, there are problems with my student coverage.

All that boring background leads me to something more exciting. I just wrote my first REAL letter threatening legal action. The "legal action" would be to file a formal complaint with the state insurance board. It's a very mild threat, but it gave me a rush nonetheless.

See, mama? I am totally learning useful things in law school.

"Check" your mail.

Oh, puns. Get it?

Law Students and Stress

"The emotional distress of law students appears to significantly exceed that of medical students and at times approach that of psychiatric populations.” -- Finding of a new(ish) study, found via the WSJ Law Blog.

Why is law school so stressful? Is law school even more stressful than medical school? I think it is, and the number of hours spent doesn't have much to do with it. If you tell a medical student that law school is more stressful than med school, they'll likely respond by telling you how many hours they just spent in a lab or studying for a test. But just because you spend hours and hours doing something doesn't necessarily mean that it's stressful. The only instance when time spent studying is truly stressful is when I'm not getting enough sleep. Lack of sleep takes an emotional and physical toll, but this doesn't explain the difference in stress levels between law and other graduate students.

It doesn't relate to the difficulty of the material, either. I'm not disputing that med school is hard -- it should be hard, and law school is hard too. Both take a ton of work to be admitted and to stay afloat.

I think it has something to do with the method of accountability in law school. Law classes are dialogues that turn into verbal battles sometimes. The system is adversarial by nature. As a student, you have to do all the assigned reading because you might be called on -- not only to answer specific questions, but to take and defend a position on an issue. Making an argument about the material takes more than a cursory knowledge of it. And usually, law professors are not kind enough to move on to another student if they call on someone who doesn't know the answer. The alternative to being prepared is being embarrassed in front of your class, and people will usually go to great lengths to avoid embarrassment.

Any and all bitterness I have, I blame on law school.

How hard is it to get a restraining order?

My boyfriend is really annoying. (Grrrreat headline, and the article is interesting too.)

I have hate in my heart.

I just finished our Legal Research take-home exam for the semester, and we had to do a bunch of research tasks on both Westlaw and Lexis. After that test, it is obvious that I am a Westlaw girl. The only hate that resides in my heart is Lexis' fault. I hate Lexis with a good portion of my heart (not all my heart, because sometimes Westlaw doesn't work and Lexis does. But it's close to all of my heart).

On the positive side, hurray for Westlaw.

"Clinton-Obama Feud Shows no Sign of Easing"

1) The obviousness of this headline made me laugh. Why would their opposition to one another end? They're candidates running against each other; this is not news.

2) "Feud" is a funny word.

3) The picture is of Bill Clinton, who is the least currently relevant person in this political threesome. Why not show a picture of the candidates Clinton or Obama? I think CNN chose this picture because they liked Bill's parental finger pointing. "Kids, be nice to each other. Because I told you to. Because I said so. Don't make me tell you again. GET OFF THE SHED!"

**Bonus points if you get the "shed" reference.

Better Luck Next Time

This comment was left anonymously after the Ghetto Vocabulary post the other day:

FYI . . .Ebonics does not equal ghetto vocabulary. While the conversations on "The Wire" are certainly ghetto, the conversations represent Baltimore street vernacular (I'm sure that you understand how the vernacular may change from region to region since you are from Troy, AL) Thus, it follows that what you heard on "The Wire" was not Ebonics.

Oooh snap. I can feel the condescension dripping from those words. It's almost an admirable level of pretentiousness -- if only it had been logical. Also, what's with the implied dis to the Southland? That's like seeing a group of hot girls and hitting on the ugly one because you're feeling lazy. It's just too easy to be an accomplishment.

That was a great shot, Anonymous. Better luck next time.

How to Use a Calculator

Every time the law school's administration organizes a large, mandatory meeting, they put us in a room that fits about 90% of the people that THEY asked to come. Most of the group gets a seat, and the rest end up standing or sitting on the floor. This is not because of a shortage of big rooms or a chair deficiency; there are plenty of rooms that fit all of us, and certainly enough chairs to go around.

Either (1)my law school's administration cannot count, or (2)they are irrationally optimistic.

If they simply can't count, that's embarrassing but pardonable. Lawyers aren't supposed to count. Heck, I can't count. But, I CAN use a calculator. Surely there is someone in the law school's administration who knows how to use a calculator.

I suspect, however, that the second choice is a better explanation for the seat-shortage. Someone knows that our class has 182 people in it and keeps hoping that we'll fit in a 160-person room. Even accounting for absences, that's not reasonable. Come on now.

Since I'm feeling charitable today (and since it will benefit me), I'll volunteer my services. If someone in the law school administration wants to learn, I'll teach you how to use a calculator.

Ghetto Vocabulary

I started watching The Wire recently, and it made me realize that I am not as fluent in Ebonics as I'd like to be. I really want to increase my ghetto vocabulary, and a trip to Tee's Ribs 'N' Things a few days ago added to my urban education. For example, I learned the Law of BBQ.

Law of BBQ: Bar-b-que is better from restaurants with bars on the windows.

Tee's had the best BBQ I've ever had, and the ghetto-fabulousity of the place made the experience even better. There were bars on the windows, a sign declaring "No Guns Allowed," and a bike with stolen tires tied to a meter out front. There was also a sign that I took a picture of saying "No O Dawgs Allowed." Being a curious little blonde girl with poor impulse control, I asked the cashier "What's an 'O Dawg?'"

If you don't already know, take a guess before you read on. Is an "O Dawg" some kind of weapon? Drug? A new breed of trouble-causing hoodlum?

An "O Dawg" is a big T-shirt with the arms cut off, so the arm holes make big "O" shapes. Now that you know what an O Dawg is, please, don't wear one. Nobody wants to see that.

Speaking of CNN

I have a site meter that keeps track of the referral links of visitors, so when someone gets to this page by clicking on a link on another website, the site meter records it. I was looking at the traffic log a few minutes ago, and realized that a bunch of people were getting here from a CNN.com page. Did CNN link to me?

It turns out they kinda did. I linked to this CNN story, and they have a feature under their news stories (I just noticed this feature) that searches blogs that are already talking about CNN stories. If you click on "From the Blogs" underneath the news story, Thank You Ma'am comes up. For real! So in a circuitous and not really monumental way, CNN linked here.

High five.

ALL Caps.

CNN has an anchor named John KING. What more gangster news anchor name could possibly exist? I can't even type it without using all caps.

"You're watching CNN Headline News. Now back to John KING in the studio."

"My friend."

Fred Thompson peppered his Saturday speech in South Carolina with the phrase "my friend." Other politicians do this as well. It's another appearance of that calculated, folksy, fake-intimate type of speech that baby-kissers seem fond of lately. Anytime a politician says the words "my friend," I shut down and stop listening. It triggers my defenses because it sounds so disingenuous.

No, I'm not your friend. You're not my friend, and you're not going to convince me that we're friends. Stop saying it.

And no, you can't kiss my baby.

My Blogging Philosophy:

Avoid being boring.

Priorities

My parents are in town and I'm in Birmingham for the day. My brother Jay, who is 21, was just describing his new love interest to my dad, who is a Southern Baptist pastor. Here's the snippet I just overheard:

Dad: Does she go to church?

Jay: I think so.

Dad: Is she a Baptist?

Jay: I don't know! She drives a Range Rover.

Law School Gunners

Above the Law has an open thread this morning about law school "gunners." A gunner is someone who is inappropriately enthusiastic and insensitive to class etiquette, always "gunning" for a chance to speak. Gunners quickly get the disdain of everyone else in their class, including the professors.

The one gunner (that I can think of) in our class is, thankfully, more amusing than annoying. I actually have a lot of affection for him, and I like it when he talks because he usually says something funny. He's earned the nickname "The Sniper" because he sits in the back/top of the room and always finds a way to reference guns in his class comments. The Sniper is from Texas, and if the topic doesn't allow him a chance to talk about guns, he falls back on a Texas comment. Here's my favorite standard comment from The Sniper:

"I don't know about where y'all are from, but everything's bigger in Texas, including our guns."

Mischief

I had the opportunity to take part in some college mischief the other day. A few weeks ago, I started doing shout-outs to members of the grammar group on the group's main page, like a Member of the Week feature. A student at Messiah College sent me a message about her teacher, Professor Jay McDermond, who is the College's resident Grammar Nazi. He actually wrote on someone's paper "Is English your second language?"

I saluted him on the grammar group's main page, and Messiah students got a little giggle out of it. I giggled too.

Golfweek

Rightfully, I think, the editor of Golfweek was fired over this cover featuring a noose. Dave Seanor displayed some remarkable obtuseness when he approved this cover in reference to the comment that Kelly Tilghman made about Tiger Woods -- that the other golfers might "lynch him [Woods] in a back alley."

In reference to yesterday's post about Michael Vick: Really, Kelly Tilghman? Really, Dave Seanor?

What's going on?

Is this a glitch on my computer or another evil plan by Microsoft? I sometimes save images to my computer to post on the blog when I think they'll add to a certain post, but lately when I'm viewing a page in Internet Explorer and I try to save an image, I get a message that says "Access denied." But then when I open the same page in Firefox, I'm able to save the picture. Is this some sort of copyright protection effort from Microsoft, or is it a glitch on my computer?

I even got that message when I tried to save a picture on Facebook. Anybody know what's going on?

Miles to go.

On a recent road trip all over the Southeast, we were trying to figure out if we'd traveled, in total, the same number of miles that the United States is wide. From NYC to SanFrancisco, how many miles would you guess there were?

I guessed around 2,000, then we revised that figure to 2,500. We were off by a few hundred miles. What do you think the answer is?

The answer is 2,908.89 miles from New York City to San Francisco, which, according to MapQuest, you can drive in 42 hours and 37 minutes. I have my doubts about that second figure.

File this under "Hate Mail."

If you don't know about the grammar Facebook group, check out the old posts here and here. Currently, we're about 240,000 strong. Every once in a while I get messages composed of the heartfelt ramblings of confused people who take offense at the group. Here's one I received today.

i[sic] think that ths[sic] group is STUPID and GAY!!![sic]because like really come on sometimes people don't gt enough schooling tobe able to have the right Grammar or whatever!! like would you JUDGE a little girl or anyone from like a foreign country, now would you... so why would you "JUUDGE" a "NORMAL" person i would think that you people make mystakes ometimes, i mean i'm sure you guys make somemystakes sometimes. and again i say... THIS GROUP IS RETATRED!!!

I gave up on the [sic]s after the third one. Thank you, Jessica Postma from Woodstock Collegiate Institute.

I hope Rush Limbaugh trash talks me one day.

My Facebook friend Ezra Klein got trash-talked by Rush Limbaugh. That's a status symbol that I hope to earn one day.

UPDATE: Link fixed.

Really.

One of my favorite SNL skits is a Weekend Update segment with Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler. In it, they mock Michael Vick for trying to sneak weed past an airport security checkpoint in a water bottle that he wasn't allowed to take on the plane in the first place. The skit is called "Really?!"

Amy: You didn't want to throw your weed away before you went through security?

Seth: Really?!

Amy: You have $117,000,000 left on your contract. Do you know what a $117,000,000 means? It means you can afford to replace your weed if you have to throw it away at the airport.

Seth: Really. And you got caught at the Miami airport, really? You didn't think they'd check for drugs... at the airport... in Miami? Really?

Amy: Michael, do you not have an entourage? Because you should put together an entourage. And the first guy in that entourage should be called "Michael Vick's Official Weed Carrier."

Seth: Really. Also, you were flying back to Atlanta. Where you live. Do you not keep weed at your house? Because if you like weed, you should have some at your house. Really.

Seth & Amy together: Really?!

I think about this skit whenever I see something stupid in class, or, more often, when I read something stupid in the news. You think we shouldn't have private property? Really? Eddie Murphy says his wedding was symbolic? Really?

They should update the SNL skit to address Michael Vick's more recent legal problems. Michael, you have millions of dollars, and you felt the need to use it to finance dog fighting? Really? Did you think you'd make some money from dog fighting? Was this money really substantial enough to outweigh the embarrassing possibility of being caught for... dog fighting?

Really.



ADDED: There's an inadvertant SNL allusion in the news today. CNN's headline about on-the-run Marine Cpl. Cesar Laurean describes him as "like MacGyver." Or, perhaps... like MacGruber?

SPOGG

National Grammar Day is March 4th, and we've decided to partner with The Society for Promotion of Good Grammar to encourage the use of proper grammar, especially on March 4th.

By the way, their acronym is SPOGG, which is way cooler than IJYWYUPG (I judge you when you use poor grammar).

Brad Renfro is Dead

My friend Gloria's comment on the situation:

"You know you're getting old when your childhood crushes start dying."

Gloria's facing her 27th birthday in a week.

Superman-ing Jerry Falwell

I’m tired of hearing “Superman” used as a verb. However clever it was originally, it’s been tired out by overuse. Maybe in a few years you can use “Superman” as a verb again and it’ll be cool in a throwback sense, but not right now. You can’t Superman that ho’ anymo’; “Superman” is too tired to be effective.

I do, however, advocate the use of another noun as a verb: Jerry Falwell. More specifically, I just want you to use his last name. To “Falwell that ho” means to put a woman in her place, figuratively or literally. It has a broader meaning than “superman,” making it more useful in a variety of situations. Go ahead, use it in a sentence. It’ll make you look witty and cultured at cocktail parties.

To quote The People vs. Larry Flynt: “There is a public interest in making Jerry Falwell look ludicrous.”

Impulses

I struggle with my impulses sometimes. For example, when I see something climb-able, I have a strong impulse to climb it. That applies to trees, buildings with low ledges, and especially statues. I have to remind myself when I'm in downtown Annapolis that it might be disrespectful to stand on top of Kunta Kinte's head. It's difficult, but I've talked myself out of that particular impulse. Most of the time.

Today, I had a similarly inappropriate impulse. My Constitutional Law professor had back surgery a few days ago. As a result, he walks with a cane. A PIMP cane, which would be made even more pimp-like if he would let me act on my impulse to bling it out. This cane is crying out for some diamonds and dollar signs (and rims! Think of the possibilities!), and I want to be the one to up the pimp-factor on my professor's cane.

If he turns down my offer to pimp his cane, I'm going to have to sit on my hands.

Finders, Keepers

Quotes from the introduction in my property book:

"Possession is eleven points in the law." -- Colley Cibber

This reminded me of the best scene in This is Spinal Tap, with the "But this one goes to eleven" exchange. I wonder if the Spinal Tap quote was influenced by the property quote, or if it was just a coincidence. It was probably just a coincidence, but the similarity made me laugh.

Here's the final quote from the intro to the property book:

"Finders keepers, losers weepers." -- Old Scottish Proverb

Eloquent, isn't it?

Haha, awesome.

I just got called "Miss Shnichols" by one of my professors, in class.

Congratulations, Professor Althouse.

Professor Althouse's blog is four years old today. Prof. Althouse is a visiting professor at the Brooklyn Law School in NYC, but she usually teaches at the University of Wisconsin Law School in Madison, Wisconsin.

She's a veteran in the blogging world, and my somewhat-unwitting mentor. Her blog was the first one I read and it's probably equal to Paco's blog in its influence on my writing. Prof. Althouse approaches politics and current events in a way that is utterly practical and interesting to me. She blogs about what catches her eye that day, and she (thankfully) doesn't comment on things that either don't interest her or about which she doesn't have anything significant to add. It's a rather un-narcissistic approach to blogging, which is kind of unusual and refreshing.

I hope my writing will resemble her precise and practical approach one day.

Lazy Sunday

I went to Barnes and Noble today and bought The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, by Junot Diaz. New York Magazine ranked it as one of the best novels of the year, so we'll see. I am excited about reading it. I also bought Dave Egger's The Best American Non-required Reading of 2007, which is usually an insightful collection of great short fiction from the year. I just noticed that Sufjan Stevens wrote the introduction, and I'm a big fan of his aggressively imaginative music, so I have high hopes for his writing as well.

Now I'm watching Alabama basketball on TV while checking email and catching up on the blog. Alabama and Florida are tied, by the way.

Laundry and cleaning are next on the list of Sunday chores. I hope your lazy Sunday is going as well as mine is.

I hate cigarettes, but I like this picture.

Life Lists and Moonshine

I generally hate lists and resolutions. If you "officially" declare that you're going to get your oil changed today, or get a B in Contracts, or lose ten pounds by February, you're only setting yourself up to feel like a failure. If it's a motivational tool and it actually works for you, fine. But when I do it, I just end up feeling like a failure. So I take a different approach to "life lists," or Things I Want to do Before I Die.

My list isn't very specific. It includes anything that will make a good story when I'm too old to do anything but tell stories. If I succeed, my great-grandchildren will think I just made up all my stories, when in fact they actually happened. I hope to hear "Ha-ha, you got them Grandma! They actually believed you!" Then I'll laugh at my "deception," knowing that these stories actually happened, even if my grandkids don't believe me.

Besides, I'm a horrible liar. I need true crazy stories to be interesting.

Anyway, one of those events happened over Christmas break when I drank moonshine for the first time. I didn't actually know that "Drink moonshine" was on my life list until we started talking about it that night, but after doing it, I'm definitely depositing a mental check on my list.

I was with Josh at his friends' place in the hills of NC. The moonshine was brown and had "blueberries" in it, although they looked more like "brownberries" to me. I took a drink. It burned like heck so I made a spectacularly girly "Eewwwwwww!" noise. One of Josh's friends informed me that eating a berry was the equivalent of taking a shot of whiskey, so I said "Ok!" and promptly swallowed one. Then I gave already-intoxicated Josh two berries. Hehe.

It was the most disgusting thing that has ever made its way to my stomach, but I drank the darn moonshine and lived to tell about it.

Legal Writing Grade Breakdown

My Legal Writing professor just did a breakdown of the grades he gave out. As I mentioned before, I turned in my memo late and the professor took 10% off the final grade. I ended up with a B-, meaning that I wrote an A- paper before calculating in the lateness penalty. After seeing the grade breakdown for this class, I'm pretty happy with the outcome of the situation.

Out of 43 total people,

2 people received A's
4 people received A-'s
4 people received B+'s
33 people received B's or below.

"First, they get to make mistakes — scribble, scribble, scribble, making mistakes."

"And then, that's their raw material for a whole new set of articles."

Ann Althouse on the political pundit machine.

That Happened Quickly

I changed my position on my Evidence teacher from ambivalence to adoration when he posted this quote on a PowerPoint slide and had us repeat it after him:

"Law school grades will not determine if I will be a great lawyer."

"Make a surprise for your woman!"

That's the subject line of my favorite spam email I've received so far today.

Grades Part II

Grades for four out of our five classes were released today, but we're still waiting on the 5th and final class grade. My guess is that it's taking them longer to release this one because they have to calculate overall rankings. So I know that I passed 4 out of my 5 classes, but the 5th is still up in the air along with my class rank.

Oh well. I'm content with my grades -- they weren't great, and weren't horrible. I did pretty much how I expected. Now that I have a better idea how to do this law school thang, I'm going to do the darn thang and do it better.

"Today's a two-vicodin day!"

-- Constitutional Law professor, who recently had back surgery but is bravely teaching his class anyway.

Here's his full quote: "I decided since teaching on one vicodin was so much fun yesterday, two would be even more fun. Today's a two-vicodin day!"

Quotes from Property Class

Professor: Why is there over-fishing going on?
Student: Because fish are delicious.


Professor to Student 1: Why are you yawning?
Student 1: I'm not sorry for my yawn.
Professor: Well good for you! What did you do last night?
Student 1: Nothing, my dad just snores really loudly.

[Laughter from class.]

Student 2: Welcome to Alabama!

Class Number 3: Evidence

So far, I'm not enjoying Evidence. The professor came off as rigid and nervously pretentious. It's like he's not really arrogant, but it's a coping mechanism for his nervousness. Instead of letting his self-consciousness show, he's overcompensating by acting pretentious. That's unfortunate. Maybe -- hopefully -- he'll get more comfortable with us and drop the act.

I do like the fact that he uses PowerPoint. He's the first professor I've had in law school who uses it, and I like it because it makes clear the things that he thinks are important. He displayed those points prominently on the PowerPoint slides, so he must consider those things important. It also works the other way around: PowerPoint makes the important things clear. The things that he considers to be important are clarified because we can read the words on a screen, so there's no misunderstanding his words. I suppose writing can be unclear just as speech can, but when speech is supported by written words, miscommunication is less likely.

Thumph Quote:

Thumph sits beside me in several classes. He helps my days go by quicker by inserting funny comments via Gchat. His latest that amused me:

"Law school makes me feel like 3/5 of a person."

Class Number 2: Constitutional Law

I thought I would really like this class, but it hasn't happened yet. The first class was boringly text-centered, which is predictable and perhaps necessary, but still boring. Yes, we've read the Constitution. Can we apply it now? Give us a crazy hypothetical about your insane uncle's gun collection! Let us talk about Guantanamo or Martin Luther King Jr. or Gary Coleman (heh)!

Now we're talking about counting votes. This could get interesting. I'm gonna go stir the pot a little bit -- perhaps I'll bring up Bush v. Gore and say something outrageous.

Class Number 1: Property

The professor is Krier, and I like him. He keeps running around the classroom energetically asking us questions that are meant to be funny. So far, in his hypotheticals, he's mentioned: a fox, land owned by a 5-year old, and a pregnant husband. He's acknowledged the sweat stains under his arms and says that you don't learn if you aren't willing to be humiliated -- he encouraged us to laugh it off if we ever feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. He doesn't like talking in PC terms, which is refreshing. He said we don't have to raise out hands to speak, and there hasn't been a seating chart mentioned.

My prediction: We're going to a have fun, if disorganized, semester in this class.

Round 2

As much as I've been digging the no-alarm mornings over Christmas break, I'm kinda ready to get back in the swing of things. Law school classes start again tomorrow.

I think the other 1Ls will agree that this semester is a lot less daunting than the first one. Knowing what to expect is half the battle, and we've got that part down. Now we just have to actually do it.

So, here we go. Round 2: BEGIN!

No-Alarm Mornings

I feel obligated to record my reflections from the first semester of law school. Since coming home after exams, I've been too exhausted to think about it. I think I slept for five days straight, and I make no apologies for that. To anyone in law school: we deserve it.

The first semester of law school was like running a series of intellectual sprints when you're desperately out of shape. I have no idea how I did on exams, but I told my parents that if I get straight Cs then I'll be proud of my straight Cs, and I'll know how to do better next time.

With first semester behind me, the whole ordeal seems less daunting. Law school is rough, but in the end it's just more school. There are tougher things in life, and if this is the most difficult thing I face in the next 20 years, I'll be very lucky.

Of course, I'm saying this from the sanctuary of Christmas break. The no-alarm mornings will run out, and I'll be complaining about Evidence and Contracts again in a few weeks. Oh well. At least I can sleep in again tomorrow.

Google may be my soulmate.

I was already smitten with Google because of Gmail and Blogger, which are both great (and free) services. Now Google went and sealed the deal: you can sign into AIM from Gchat and IM people from Gchat, without running the AIM software on your computer.

Lately my computer has been getting slower from old age, and the AIM program was taking up too much of its processing power for it to be worth it to run AIM in the background all the time. I found myself relying on Gchat more and AIM less. Gchat also has the added aesthetic benefit of being less obvious, so when I'm Gchatting in class it can pass for doing actual work. AIM was too flashy; if anyone saw the AIM boxes on your screen, you were caught goofing off, end of story. Maybe professors will catch on to Gchat's stealth style, but for now it's a nice visual trick.

Sidenote: Kinky

I looked up "unconventional" in a thesaurus for that last post, and "kinky" was one of the words that Roget's substitutes for unconventional. So yes, I'm a fan of unconventional, provocative, kinky literature when it is appropriate.

Have you had your kinky literature today?

Merry Christmas, Everyone.

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

I heard the bells on Christmas day

Their old familiar carols play,

And mild and sweet the words repeat

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And thought how, as the day had come,

The belfries of all Christendom

Had rolled along the unbroken song

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head

“There is no peace on earth,” I said,

“For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:

“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail

With peace on earth, good will to men.”

Till ringing, singing on its way

The world revolved from night to day,

A voice, a chime, a chant sublime

Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Priorities in Writing

I interviewed with Katherine K. Lee of the Tuscaloosa News a few weeks ago, and she wrote an article about the good-grammar movement for the Sunday, 12/23 edition of the paper. I just realized it was online tonight, so here's the link.

Katherine also quoted an English professor at the University of Alabama:

Michael Martone, a professor of English at UA, said that where sticklers for grammar see mistakes, he sees creative minds at work.

The use of the word "ain't," for instance, in the right context can be effective and dramatic, just what a writer is looking for.

But Martone said he understands why bad grammar might drive someone in the law profession crazy.

"Law wants language to be static and universally recognized," he said. "But for creative writing, part of the creativity is taking perceived categories and opening them up to possibilities."

I've never really thought about it like that, but Michael is right. In most contexts, my preference is for language to be static in nature and precisely used. Without a common base, how could we communicate? But, when it's appropriate, I do appreciate the creative use of language.

Now that I'm analyzing it -- I appreciate the unconventional use of words when describing a thought or feeling more precisely (albeit unorthodoxly) than it would be described with conventional words used conventionally. So precision is my priority.

"Follow your heart, but do it with your head."

-- Steve Jobs. That quote instantly made me a bigger fan of Apple.

Lyrical Interpretation

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
It's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.


What do you think it's saying? The first three lines present an image of a person trapped. When somebody outdraws you, they're quicker than you are. They have their gun pointed at your heart, and you're vulnerable. He's saying that all love ever taught him was how to get out of that vulnerable situation -- how to get his gun and hurt the other person before they've hurt him, even when they have the upper hand.

He moderates that image in the last three lines. "It's not a cry that you hear at night," so love isn't desperation. It's also not blind faith, which he makes clear by invoking, then dismissing, the image of seeing "the light." That's a religious image, and he's saying that love isn't like religion. I understand that -- it's not a panacea, it's not something that will save the world. Don't put all your hope in love, because it will not, in the end, impart ultimate meaning to life.

But then he invokes another religious word, hallelujah, so he is comparing love to religion. He's saying that, although love isn't going to save the world, it is something to hold onto. Love is essentially human: it's imperfect and painful, it doesn't always respond to your preferences, but that doesn't detract from its beauty. Maybe there is a God above, but I'm experiencing life and love from this vulnerable, fragile human perspective. And it is still beautiful.

I heart scarves.

My parents live in Annapolis, MD, although I go to the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. There is quite a difference in the weather between the two, and I'm re-adjusting to the Annapolis cold right now.

Inspired by Postsecret, here's my irrational secret of the day: sometimes I rationalize that a scarf will be as warm as putting on a real coat, and I can just wear a scarf instead of searching the closets for my real coat. Usually, I'm wrong.

(But I never admit it!)

Finished!

Other semesters will be difficult, but we'll never have to adjust to a new place, new set of friends, new set of professors, AND a spirit-breaking workload again in one semester. The remaining five semesters will merely be spirit-breaking, but I think we know how to handle that now.

Congratulations, everyone!

Book Update

I created a Facebook group last year called "I judge you when you use poor grammar." As I've mentioned in the blog, we're working on a book that will be a collection of the group's best materials.

Here's the update on this process. We've received two offers from publishers, and we're waiting on a third. Negotiations will probably continue through the New Year, and then I'll start working on the actual book. I'll still be in law school, but the book will become more of a priority. The timetable on the book's printing isn't firm, but a good estimate is Christmas 2008.

The whole process has been an exciting little adventure and a solid distraction from law school. Although anything could happen at this point, I'm thankful for all the support we've received so far. Keep having fun with the group, and keep correcting my written faux pas on the blog. It keeps me on my toes.

Cheers!

Muddy Writing

I got some negative feedback on that last blog entry. Maybe my lack of eloquence in that post was balanced by my brilliance on my Contracts exam. Eh, doubtful.

Out of all the exams I've taken so far this semester, I'm the least confident about the contracts exam. There were about 30 multiple choice questions, which I find extremely difficult for this type of material. It was the first exam to have multiple choice questions on it.

I prefer essays because you can justify your answer in them. With multiple choice questions, you're confined to the answers that the professor proposes -- what if none of them is actually right? What if 3 of them are actually right? You're stuck having to judge between nuances in the professor's opinion, and hope that the professor writes clearly and precisely. I guess the task of judges is somewhat similar, only they're dealing with fine distinctions in the actual law. In law school exams, we're applying the law to the professor's fact pattern as represented by his or her word choices. If they write clearly, that doesn't end up being a problem, but if they use a word with several shades of meaning, it can change an answer completely.

It's done, and I'm moving on. Thank goodness.

Post Exam Debauchery

...Is to come. I just took my Contracts exam, and after the pain it involved, I'm circling the wagons and banning law school from my life. Just for the day.

Civil Procedure is next Wednesday, then I'm going home for the holidays with first semester of 1L behind me!

Birthday in Tha Loose

I completely forgot to mention my birthday. The past few days have been a swirl of high priorities in my head, and since not failing law school (and, therefore, not failing at life) is a higher priority than celebrating a birthday, I forgot about my birthday until the day before. Luckily, I have wonderful friends, and Stephanie organized a last-minute dinner at a sushi place here in T-Town (more amusingly known as "Tha Loose": Tuscaloosa, Alabama).

My birthday is December 6th, which unhappily falls during exams each year. I turned 21 in the library, and that was a dark, blustery and sad night.

This time around was much better. I turned 23 in the company of great new friends who are fighting in the same adversarial system than I am. Although we're technically competing for grades (and football team allegiances), about ten other students and several Auburn fans came out for my birthday.

It was an encouraging demonstration of camaraderie during the most demanding time of the semester. Thank you, everyone!

Exam Writing Styles

While talking to my friends about their exams, I've noticed that there seem to be two different ways that professors write their exams. My professors have written broad, far-reaching exams with fact patterns and an instruction, like in my Torts exam, to "Analyze all potential legal issues" that might exist. Although this is an almost impossible task to complete in 4 hours, it does give the test taker a chance to show off every relevant thing that they know. My strategy for those tests has been to identify as many legal issues as possible, do an IRAC for all of them, and write till the time runs out. I haven't run out of things to write about yet, which I take as a good sign. I'd be much more worried if I ran out of things to write about and left the test early.

The second type of test that I've heard people talk about is a more limited one. Typically, these will include one fact pattern, and give the entire exam period to analyze that one fact pattern. When the scope is more limited like this, an answer needs to be very accurate and tailored to the specific facts. But exams like this only test you on a limited part of the information you learned over the semester, so I can understand how this would be frustrating. The good side is that you can completely answer a question like this in 3 or 4 hours; the downside is that the standard of competition is raised, and you darn well better have answered it perfectly.

Which type would you rather take, and why?

Mid-Exam Musings

Yes, I used alliteration in the title of this post. Yes, alliteration is a cheap literary trick. Yes, I still like it anyway.

I'm in the middle of my first law school exam period, and I'm surviving. I turned in my memo for Legal Writing class (ten minutes late with a ten percent penalty, but at least it's done). I finished a Torts exam that included three two-page fact patterns and the instruction, at the end of each fact pattern, to "Identify and analyze all potential tort issues." Yesterday, I swam the dirty waters of Criminal Law and emerged -- traumatized but alive.

Two more to go: Contracts is tomorrow, and Civil Procedure is next Wednesday. I fully plan on wasting a day in between Contracts and CivPro by sleeping until afternoon, watching a marathon of America's Next Top Model and eating Cheezits in bed. It'll be glorious.

Torts Exam Thoughts

I took my first law school exam. I'm glad it's over.

It was a Torts exam with three fact patterns on it. The fact patterns were each more than a page long, and the instruction at the end was "Identify and analyze all potential tort issues." We had four hours to complete it.

Our professor made it long and overwhelming on purpose. Since we're graded in comparison to each other, this kind of exam was helpful because it gave us all a chance to distinguish ourselves. Other sections had shorter tests, but when a test is short you end up with everybody giving almost the same answer. Our exam was a lot more difficult, but it gave us the latitude to discuss pretty much any issue that we could tie to the fact pattern. I feel pretty confident about torts after taking this exam.

My strategy is to expect a C. If I expect a C and do better, I'll be ecstatic. I haven't contemplated the possibility of doing worse than a C. It just can't happen.

Three exams left: Criminal Law on Monday, Contracts on Thursday, and Civil Procedure on Wednesday the 19th.

I love Cops.

I love Cops, the TV show. I also have a fondness for real cops, especially after the events of the other night.

Our house was broken into. Thankfully, we didn't lose anything. My brother, Jay, is 21, and he came home about ten minutes before I got home. Apparently Jay surprised them in the act, and he hung out downstairs while he was waiting on Josh and me to get home. Jay said there was more than one person, and he listened to them scramble around upstairs, presumably looking for a way out, while Josh and I were on our way home. When Josh and I got home, Josh went upstairs and searched the house with Jay. Jay's bedroom window was open and the screen was kicked in. My bedroom window was also open (and I definitely didn't leave it open). The only thing missing was a set of house keys that also had my car key with them.

We called the police and filed a police report, and Jay changed the locks yesterday. I'm also parking in the garage from now on. The police said that this happens a lot over the holidays, so be careful!

But anyway, back to the TV show Cops. My favorite is when they arrest drunk people. I was watching the other day and they were arresting some kids for breaking into someone's house, and a drunk homeless man happened to stumble through the scene. He bumped into the cameraman, looked up, and said "I'm gonna kung-FOO jitz-ZOO kick ALL Y'ALL!"

The cops arrested him too.

Exams

My first set of law school exams are coming up. For anyone who's not in law school or who hasn't had the good (ha) fortune to have gone through this process, I'll tell you a little bit about our exams. I have four exams: Torts, Criminal Law, Contracts and Civil Procedure. Each exam is four hours long, and yes, it does take the entire four hours.

The good news is that they're spread out over about three weeks, so we have plenty of time to study. Two of my exams are open book and open note, and two are closed. However, having an open book exam doesn't necessarily help you out. The tests are graded on a pretty strict curve, so we're all directly competing with each other. If an exam is easy to you, then it's also probably easy to everyone else. That means the standard of performance is raised, because you still have to do better than almost everyone else to get an A. A good exam answer one year may be a poor one the next; it just depends on how well you do compared to everyone else.

This environment fosters some cutthroat competition. Thankfully, I haven't experienced any sabotage attempts at Alabama, but I've heard stories of students ripping out pages of books in the library or hiding them so other students can't find the book they need. Anything to get ahead, right? No wonder lawyers have such bad reputations.

My first exam is Torts on Wednesday. Our professor, Susan Randall (who I have a girl crush on) is doing a question and answer session for us this morning. She went to Columbia for law school and (like me) she was a philosophy major in college. Clearly we were meant for each other.

I'm in love.

I'm starting to become more comfortable with law school. Law school and I haven't exactly become friends yet, but we're on a first name basis. Law school and I will be spending a lot more time together in the next few years, so we have plenty of time to take this relationship slowly and get to know each other better. I'm still skeptical, but it's getting better.

Westlaw, on the other hand, is my new true love. You can look up people's criminal records! If the law school authorities were really serious about getting us to pay attention in class, they wouldn't have taught us how to snoop on Westlaw.

"Chuck Norris Approved."

I am deLIGHTED with Mike Huckabee's new campaign ad (via Althouse). Thoughts?

Boring Interviews

Although I'm greatly appreciative of all the press the Facebook group has been getting lately, it all has been a bit boring. The pieces are feel-good, fluffy stories, and that's fine. That's all I can expect from a story reporting on a Facebook group.

However, my publicist (Gloria) has been brainstorming some quotes to make these interviews more interesting and memorable. Here are her first two shots:

Grammar is my Malawian baby - like Angelina and Madonna, I got tired of being pegged as just another outrageous, definitive sex symbol and I needed to be taken seriously. My psychic suggested grammar and my Scientology advisor agreed.

Grammar is trendy right now, but its my goal to make it timeless - more Cartier than Tiffany, more Hermes than Balenciaga. Grammar is the new black, and it looks good on everyone.

Crimson White article

The Crimson White is Alabama's school newspaper, and Keli Goodson wrote an article for us for today's paper. Here's the link, and the full text is reprinted below. I'll post some thoughts about it later.

____________________________________________________________________

Grammar lovers united by Facebook

Keli Goodson
Senior Entertainment Reporter

Issue date: 11/14/07 Section: Entertainment

For those English speakers who just can't use correct grammar or spelling, there is a Facebook group out to get you.

Formed in October 2006, "I judge you when you use poor grammar" has more than 220,000 members and has garnered plenty of attention lately, with mentions in The New York Times, the Canadian press and a blog from the Wall Street Journal.

First-year law student Sharon Eliza Nichols is the founder of the group.

"It's kind of overwhelming, still," Nichols said of the attention the group has gotten. "It's growing by one or two thousand a day."

"I judge" had to make another group after the first one completely filled the space Facebook allows for images, Nichols said. There are about 5,000 images on the group's Facebook Web page.

The first bit of attention the group received was from the newspaper The Ottawa Sun on Sept.r 7. A mention in The New York Times on Oct. 21 was next, followed by a post in the Law Blog of The Wall Street Journal on Oct. 26.

"It's been mentioned other places," she said, "but those three were the big ones."

Since the mention in The New York Times, Nichols said, she has gotten an agent, and a book deal is in the works.

"We're going to make a book with pictures and information from the group," she said.

The book will be a lot like the popular "Post Secret" books, as it will be mostly images posted on the Facebook group's Web page, Nichols said.

A book proposal has been written, and the book's release date will not be decided until Nichols and her agent choose a publisher, she said.

"I judge you when you use poor grammar" has also spawned its own line of T-shirts, produced by Teeful.com and available at www.IJudgeYouWhen.com.

The group started with a sign she saw one day that said "Applications Excepted," instead of the correct "Applications Accepted," Nichols said. She said she felt embarrassed for the business when she saw the sign.

"I started it as kind of a joking response to that," Nichols said.

She said another pet peeve of hers was the inability of some people to correctly use "it's" and "its."

Images in the group include things like pictures of Facebook profiles, church signs and billboards with misspelling, improper punctuation and other things group members find grammatically offensive.

"I think that the Internet has made written communication more commonplace," Nichols said. She said that results in some people not knowing better or just not caring.

She said it seemed grammar on the Internet was getting better, because people are beginning to be more careful about what they say and how they say it.

"Powerful people should choose their words carefully," she said. "When people mispronounce things it conveys a definite impression to other people."

Women's Studies discussion in Manly Hall.

First line in an email I just received:

Today at 12:30pm, the Women’s Resource Center and the Department of Women’s Studies at the University of Alabama will hold their next Brown Bag Series discussion in Manly Hall, Room 102.

Anyone else find this really funny?

Milestone.

I just used up my first law-school highlighter. Ha!

"Thought surgery."

The other day, a friend of mine compared law school to "thought surgery." It's an accurate comparison because they're teaching us how to think differently -- how to approach and analyze subjects from a legal perspective, as opposed to whatever we came in here doing.

I'm not taking issue with learning how to think differently. That part of law school was expected. I'm wondering, though, how law school will affect my writing. In your experience, has it made you a better writer? Worse? More stilted, or more creative?

My prediction is that it will make me a more precise, but less interesting, writer.

Gobble Gobble

I go to law school in Alabama. People like to hunt here, as shown by the funniest cell phone ring tone I've ever heard.

Today in class, a friend's cell phone rang. The ring was the sound of turkeys gobbling with a shotgun blast at the end.

"Gobble gobble gobble."
"BOOM!"

I'm turning blue.

It's always a little uncomfortably cold in the law school, and I have a theory explaining it: I think it's to keep us awake! The school keeps the temperature around 65 so that students are always a little uncomfortable, and therefore we stay awake.

It doesn't work with uncomfortably warm, because people tend to fall asleep when they're warm.